Lost Boys Like Me Are Free in BookThree: Flight Log 2016

This song is beautiful in a sad way; and it is currently very stuck in my head.

Friday night, the day finished out with a conversation with Boss over the phone about some paperwork that needed to be filed. I had already filed it earlier that day, assured her it was taken care of, and that I would let her know if it came back due to an error.
Saturday morning… at 9 am… I get a phone call. Fuck that noise, it is Saturday morning, they can leave a message. It was Boss. Asking about the same paperwork that needed to be filed. Asking the same questions we had discussed the night before. And in moments like that… my frustration and anger turn to fear and concern. She is clearly not well mentally. And will be continuing in her job capacity for another 4 months. Worrisome. The rest of my Saturday was packing the house and playing video games. Then, when Wife got off work, we traveled back to DM to hang with family (as we were celebrating my mom’s birthday on Sunday). Of course… when Wife and Mom saw each other… Wife became “The Chattingest Girl in The West” and monologued for a solid two hours. About how she doesn’t like Tiny Town, still hates her job, but look at what the house looks like now. Hopefully, Mom wasn’t too put off by it.

Sunday, Wife, Mom, Dad and I went to church. It was all right. Not transformative, but allright. Then Wife and I ran some errands and came back to the Parents where Brother, Sister In Law, and Niece were. Went to play at the park (where I sweat like a beast) so Sister in Law and Wife got to discuss how fat I am. Brother and I discussed the Living Situation (more on that later) and some political stuff. I may have convinced the die hard libertarian (he is) that privatizing Mental Health Care and Child Protective Services wasn’t the best idea. Then, Mom’s birthday dinner and Wife and I drove back home… arriving at around 11:00 pm. So… I’m a bit tired today. A day where Cecilia won’t be in the office… meaning… I’ve been at work all day and (actually) seen ZERO people. That’s not “I haven’t seen anybody at work blah blah blah.” I mean… from leaving my house, to driving to the office, to getting out of my car, to walking into the office, to work, etcetera… I have come across/interacted with a grand total of zero humans. THAT is how empty and devoid of life this town is.

And that brings me to the deal. This isn’t directed at anyone on here, so please don’t take these words personally. But… why is it that so many people hear about my situation and say, “You’re lucky. That sounds like a dream to me.” Really? Cool. If you honestly want to give it a try, I invite you to come visit. But a few things that should be understood (which I certainly know my brother doesn’t get). (1) Just because it sounds awesome to YOU doesn’t mean it is a perfect fit for ME. (2) What may sound good, may not actually be good and “isolation” may sound awesome, but the practice may not measure up. (3) When I say small town, a lot of people think something different. Hell, I was one of those people. Small Town meant between 5,000 and 10,000 people. That isn’t the small town out here. Out here… there are towns that take up 300 square acres and have less than 70 people. The term small town (out here) starts at 20 people and goes up to 2,000. That is a considerable size difference from thinking 5,000 to 10,000 and even more… it affects the lifestyle in every way. So… while some people may think “Small Town America sounds heavenly”… consider it, try it out, and then appreciate that some people may not agree with you. Just… things I wish I could say to my family who think I’ve “lucked into a paradise” because I’m in “small town rural America.”

So now… work. SUPER tired… stupid Mondays… and… yeah. That’s where I am. Super tired, staring at some more new files and… what a shock… the names on all of the new files are names I’m super familiar with. Because that is what happens when you never actually penalize any criminals… the criminals realize they can get away with whatever they want. So while the law abiding citizens play by the rules, the criminals continue to behave criminally. Which is the whole reason I got into the Prosecutor’s Gig to begin with. If we have a set of rules that the community is required to follow; when we allow people not to follow them, we are giving those people an unfair advantage. If I tell you: “It is illegal to beat someone up”… law abiding citizens are going to consider that they may go to jail or face consequences if they beat someone up. So, while they may REALLY want to, they do not beat someone up. However, if some people know that they will never be required to face consequences… then sure, they are going to beat up whoever they want. Ah well. Provided I can stay awake and muster up the energy to push forward… I can get some work done. If for no other reason than to at least be able to say “I got some work done.”