Ready, Okay in BookThree: Flight Log 2016

Morning Tid Bits:
1- As I was getting ready this morning, Wife woke up with a big stomach cramp. She raced to the toilet and proceeded to yell, cry, sob… and I share that because I am a horrible person. Clearly, there is nothing I can do for her. Also, she gets annoyed when I ask. So, I sit around, trying to get ready, with my wife shouting and screaming because her stomach hurts. And I get annoyed. I get bothered. I get disturbed by it. And I figured out why. What good is all of that… production? If she doesn’t want my help… and she doesn’t want attention… why the over the top production of the “I’m In Pain Show”? And I understand that is wrong. She should be allowed to express her pain and discomfort in whatever way she feels she needs to. But growing up… I was very thoroughly instructed to suffer in silence unless I needed assistance. And even then… there were years when I would tell my parents about pain in my legs or in my scrotum and they would say “Go to bed” because they thought I was just being one of those kids that was stalling bed time. Turns out… nope. Almost lost both testicles; surgery saved them literally in the nick of time. And fibromyalgia causing feelings of pain throughout my body; especially in the legs, back, and shoulders. So… I’m irritated by all of Wife’s over dramatic wailing because of a stomach cramp (which, when it passed, she went back to bed and instantly fell back to sleep) but I’m wondering if part of my irritation comes from that long standing expectation of “Suffer in Silence”.

2- INTERESTING developments from France. Le Monde is debating the level of attention to give to terrorism in their newspapers (essentially, remember this is all America Discussing European Affairs, so something may have gotten lost in translation). It sounds a lot like the debate some of my American Journalist friends have about Mass Shootings. What kind of coverage, what level of detail… are we giving these killers a platform and making them famous (which would lead to more issues) or are we simply covering important news. I’ll be excited to see what Le Monde ends up doing!

3- It comes as no surprise; but I think a big reason the isolation of this place bothers me SO much? All of my life, the one thing I’ve been good at is talking. Zack Morris was my idol when I was a kid. Put me in a room where I need to talk my way out of (or into) something… and I’m fairly good at it. Granted, this is not true in social settings. I am shyte when it comes to chatting up a lady. But every other talk aspect, I’m good. But I can’t use that or do anything with that here. Even in Magistrate Court… I don’t talk… because usually nobody shows up! So… the silence… and the imposed silence… very disconcerting.

4- Had a hearing. The kids with the tooth thing? Dad is testing positive for meth; Mom is testing positive for meth. Is it any surprise considering the disinterest shown in their children’s health?! So… the hearing put restrictions on the dad but not the mom (and we’re trying to get that changed) so… fingers crossed. Meanwhile, the mom’s attorney is saying that a positive meth test does not constitute an immediate risk to the children. I get that he’s doing his job… but if BOTH adults in a household are testing positive for Meth… don’t you see how the state would take the position that there is a significant risk to the kids? But nope. This specific county is… the problem. We encourage a Meth Habit, our Officers are hamstrung to deal with it by their boss, all of our DHS and other services come from two counties away… that’s the issue. I wound up here because nobody would come. I need more training and much better guidance to become a skilled enough lawyer to do this place any good. Perhaps… perhaps… if this were my SECOND legal job… if I’d had some practical instruction before now… then I could do some real good here. But fumbling for the slightest bit of understanding… asking everyone how to do anything… I got this job because they knew I wouldn’t have the ability to do any good here.

5- Wife’s car needed to go to the shop today. So I drove her to work. She claimed it wasn’t necessary… she could take my car and I could walk home… and she’s right. The walk home isn’t that far. But honestly? Getting out of the office, getting out of the city… a very good thing. Only problem is… I got lost trying to get back to the office. Like… seriously lost. Like… stop at a gas station and buy an Iowa map lost. lol. I am awful. And all of this because I left my phone at the office… which is a stupid thing to do anyway. Oh well. It was really nice to not just be sitting in EnergyDrain, USA for a while.

6- Part of my drive was a good time to reflect though and I realized something… peculiar? WHY did I leave Iowa to go to law school? A question I got a lot when I was packing for Omaha. WHY (if I wanted to WORK in Iowa) was I going to Law School out of Iowa? And my answer was… in order to be an effective lawyer, a good advocate, or a worthwhile person.... I need to experience more than just my little segment of reality. I went to Omaha because it was a way to expand my horizons and understand things that may have been different from where I came from. Well… isn’t that exactly what is going on in Tiny Town? Literally. I am experiencing something completely different from where I came from. So… I experienced “Big City” for law school and now I’m experiencing “Teeny Town” for my first law job. Which has helped me to understand which I prefer… it has helped me to understand multiple types of people and experiences. In a way… I asked for this. Now I’m wondering.... if I can parlay any of this “diverse experience” into a political run. Try to run for State Senate or something. Because honestly… I understand that this area is enamored of Steve King but… ffs. Just because he was born here and has a lot of money doesn’t mean he is suitable to represent the area. Unless this area really does want to be known via King… the least effective member of Congress, a vocal bigot who believes in White Exceptionalism, and a homophobe of terrifying levels.

7- Another part of the drive had me thinking… really thinking… about what I would most like to do in life. If someone spun a giant wheel and it landed on YOU GET ALL THE MONEY EVERYWHERE… well, first of all, that would create a global financial crisis of unfathomable horror… but afterwards.... what are the things I most want to do?
a) I want to be around my family and friends
b) I want to be around dogs. DOGS! Yay dogs! DOGS!
c) I want to write. If you chained me to a keyboard and told me “Write for thirteen hours and we let you go”… I would probably request to stay after the thirteen hours were over!
d) I want to talk to people. Get their attention, work out issues, bring a community together and move forward.
e) I want time and money enough to travel, enjoy vacations, but also have a house of a status and quality that the home would be comfortable, inviting, and safe.

That’s what I want. So… ultimately… it seems like I want to be a writer, lol. But a good one that goes on Chat Shows and the like. But I keep thinking… it is too bad I have nothing to say. I mean… I’ve thought about doing “The Writer” thing but every time I attempt it… I just… I don’t know if there is a story in me. Y’know?

And on to the weekend. Due to getting lost, my work day was FAR less productive then I would have hoped. But… I’m certain that makes the people of this county quite pleased.