Back to work today. in Since OD is shutting down....

I had a good couple of days off. I was extremely sleep-deprived by Saturday night after working 3 10 hour days and it being well over 100 every damn day. I had little one Saturday night and then Sunday her Mom and I took her with me so I could shoot my gun. It’s a really fun, stress-relieving thing and I plan to do it more often. My brother was trying to just stick me with his kid so he could go ride his motorcycle and I was getting super pissed. I get tired of sitting with her every weekend and never getting to do anything I enjoy.

My brother’s girlfriend and I ended up stalking my old roommate. I know, it’s seriously fucking weird as hell. We did this Sunday night and then on Monday afternoon. I couldn’t find him so I finally just text him and said I had insurance cards for him. He asked me if I could pay on the storage, which I did. I know I didn’t have to but I am still trying to do what I can to make things right. I asked him to come over but he said he was still too angry and I told him I would ask again tonight when I get off work.

I still love him very much and want him in my life. As far as him moving back in, I’m definitely open to the idea but it would take a lot for me to actually let him. I still don’t know if he plan to or not though. I would just have to know that it wouldn’t be the same miserable thing as before. I never thought I could fall in love with a gay man and somehow, I did. I know that he’s put me through a lot too and that’s why I’m honestly hoping he doesn’t even want to come back.

The insurance company is going to manually change my bill and should call me back either Friday or Monday. They were super nice about it and it’s going to get worked out. I just can’t afford to pay $250 for car insurance. That’s just not going to happen. As of right now, I’m $60 short on my rent but I know I’ll make that tonight so I’m not too worried. I plan to put a CD player in the other car and still don’t know what I plan to do. I can’t have a bunch of cars but I’m not ready to part with any of them just yet. I wanted to move them to my parents house but I would be just as worried about them there as if they stay here with me. I don’t trust my little brother and my Dad would want keys, mainly so he could snoop through all my shit and I just can’t handle not feeling like I don’t have control over my own property.

I’m just waiting on laundry right now and then I’m going to get dressed, put makeup on and get down the road. I’m hoping it’s a busy night at work so the time goes fast. It’s not incredibly hot today, only about 81 so far and shouldn’t be terribly hot all week so I’m pretty happy about that. I get sick of sweating for hours every damn day. I always like summer time but I don’t tolerate the heat well. I still haven’t gone to the lake or anything so that sucks. I did buy tickets to go to a concert in a couple of weeks with one of the girls I work with. I know it’ll be the highlight to my summer which is kinda sad but it is what it is.

My clothes are in the dryer without dryer sheets because I never remember to buy any. I even bought laundry soap the other day and it never even occurred to me to get some. Ugh, I hate how forgetful I can be.

I had my dental cleaning this morning and it went lovely. The guy that did it said I have beautiful teeth and I should smile a lot and show them off. It makes me feel really good that my teeth are healthy and I have minimal staining from smoking. I’m glad that smoking isn’t creating a problem yet and I plan to stop before it does. I worry about it all the time.

Anyways, time to fold laundry and get down the road.