Still Going. in Your Face

So I was meant to go to bed early last night, but there was a really good documentary on Queen on tv ... suddenly it was after 10:30pm and I get up at 5am these days ... no good.Needless to say, I was pretty tired today. My budget for the week allows $10 per day, which is no problem when I have dinner cooked for me, but I am flying solo these days and need to sort out my own lunch and dinner (breakfast usually breakfast bars). I splurged and spent $4.90 on a giant coffee, and boy it was good. It really got me through the morning.

Busy day at work, and the "new me" is just doing so well. What a relief. Her confidence is growing and she's getting a real understanding about what is required of her, how to do it, and what it means.

How is my mood today? Still stable. I am coming down off that frantic 5 days of essay writing, which is nice. I got home at a reasonable hour (6:30pm) and tonight I will have time to relax and write a little of my letter to M. I send him one every Monday.

Speaking of M, we SPOKE today. We've been having the smallest of exchanges for over a week, while we both got used to being alone, and he was trying to avoid the panic at being back in the US. But today, we spoke about everything under the sun. He laughed at my dumb jokes. We talked about food (of course). We both fretted over money (still having problems getting money into his hand - now my debit card won't work, despite the bank telling me there is no issue - either way, the money is on its way to him via other methods).

A woman at work made a pushy comment about M needing to hurry up and find work. Like we don't fucking know that. I am just sensitive about it because I know how anxious he is about trying to get work, having been unemployed for over 3 years. Who is going to hire him? One thing in his favour is that he is in Santa Fe, where no one wants to work, and they all shuffle around from minimum wage job to minimum wage job because they still get paid over $10 an hour, so who gives a shit? Anyway, so I understand where she was coming from, she has watched me flog myself with work and study while he was unable to work, and then when he did get residency, he didn't exactly bolt out to find a job. I was very frustrated with that too. I just don't need to hear it right now. Our future depends on him getting work as soon as possible, don't put extra pressure on us, please.

That said, I really like that woman, she just has a very abrupt personality and doesn't beat around the bush.

So tomorrow is Friday, and I am nervous about a weekend with nothing to do. I have been inspired by a recent knitting project, and I hear the weather is meant to be poor, so perhaps I can clock up some movie watching and knitting. I also need to wash my bedding, which means taking all the boxes and shit packed around the bed out of the room so I can do that. I should just have a big clean up. Um, what else. I need to go through a bag of my Dad's stuff and dig out some things I want to give him when I go visit next week.

Ugh, I'm still not quite ready to be on my own, I guess. It will be two weeks tomorrow, at approximately 12:30pm. And that will be 2 weeks down, 9 or 10 to go (all things going to plan).

Things to look forward to:

Going to visit Dad next week.

Possibly driving 6 hours to visit my Heslop the week after.

A planned trip to the farmer's market with my sister one Sunday.

Taking myself off on a (day time) trek around some tracks in a wildlife reserve.