Outta my mind in Every day scata

These almost obsessive “what if” thoughts are going to drive me insane. They’re repetitive in nature, and crowd out anything else. If I didn’t have a schedule to adhere to I’d get lost in them, and hide under the blankets.

But right now most of my thoughts are of my totally fucked up shoulder. I don’t know how I re-injured it, but it hurts like hell. Hurts all the way down my arm to my hand. I’d put a lidocaine patch on it, but there is no way to put it where it belongs. I’d have to have arms that hang down to my knees to do it. sigh

I’ve maxed out my allotted postcards to send again. The one to Russia is 30 days out, so I still have to wait another 15 days until that one expires. The ones I wrote out today are to Belarus and Russia. I hope they actually reach their destinations. I’ve hardly made a dent in the box of postcards I have. It’s a good thing, though. I won’t have to spend any more money on them for a while.

I won’t be going to my clients house till Thursday, unless she calls me Wednesday morning. I’m not going to hold my breath on that call. Two days filled with appointments, and I would need a rest day, too.

Speaking of rest days, I really didn’t have a chance to have one this week. Yeah, I slept in and just farted around the house yesterday, but I still don’t feel rested. The stress, the heat, and the stuff that I had to get done today has sent my fibro into a tailspin. But the fibro pain isn’t as bad as the shoulder pain. I guess that’s a good thing? Anyhoo I hope I feel better tomorrow of both things.

I really have to lose some weight, I just don’t know how the fuck I’m going to do it. I guess I’ll go low carb and hope it helps. I just can’t make myself get up and go on the dreadmill first thing in the morning. I’m too stiff and hurt so bad. I wish I could use it mid morning after the meds have kicked in and my energy level is decent. I can’t do it after supper because I’ve spent all my spoons doing all the stuff all throughout the day. I know I do get a boost in energy from actually exercising but… sigh I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. Walking outside is not an option with this damn heat. Nope. No way. No how. It’s bad enough having to go out and pick tomatoes in the heat.

My sister Kim checked in with me again. No word from my other sister so I’m assuming she is pissed off at me again. Why I have no idea. Probably because I’m not on facebook anymore. I honestly don’t miss it. I’m bored, but I still don’t miss it. Such a time suck. She, and others think that I’m not on it for other reasons. It did start out that way, but now it’s my choice. I guess I’m not supposed to have a mind of my own, as twisted as it might be.

Babbling. I’m babbling. It’s time for more coffee.