Sometimes I feel really bad... in Journal

  • July 20, 2016, 9:52 a.m.
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  • Public

selling myself to people. I can see their need clearly, and so can they. I know that I can help them, but I can’t seem to say it in words that are adequate. It’s like I just want to gush at them the information they desperately need, but you know I need to eat, too. I really don’t charge that much. People say I should charge more but at the same time they complain insurance doesn’t cover it.
/Sigh. I really really hate the business side of things. I wish I didn’t need money and could just do the things I do, and everyone would be happy-healthy-taken care of.
And then I remember deleting emails about 50% off sales for clothes and throwing out all the coupons I get for anything except olive oil and rice. Bc you know, I can’t afford anything even at 50% off. Sometimes I wish I could buy clothes at real stores instead of shopping at the VOA or thrift stores. But it’s all frivolous meaningless junk anyways, right? I don’t need nice things.
:(
Delivering eggs to new people this week. I get really self conscious about it when knew people want to try my produce. I freak out if it’s not good enough- there’s a speck of dirt on the shell or the yolk isn’t as perky as it should be! Horrors!
And then I go home and calm down. The farm really is like a dream. Until I remember I need to put up more fence and stay hay. ugh. My back already hurts just thinking about it.
Little bunny is turning out okay I think. Vitamin C is a miracle, really. He is drinking water and moving more. Still pretty lethargic. I think he’ll make it.


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