The weekend in Just in Case

I had Cbaby with me this weekend. Her mom and Tootie were supposed to paint the bigger bedroom and move Cbaby’s stuff in there as a surprise. That didn’t happen (not really sure why), but I loved my time with her. We spent all day in town, saw a movie, ate way too much, shopped for shoes, played with cats and pups at the adoption event at PetSmart, just a fun day. Then we came home. I had told her I had a few vhs tapes to check out (I borrowed my parents’ still functioning vcr). One of the top ones in the stack was her parents’ wedding. There was no hiding it, and she wanted to watch it. It was ok for the first few minutes, then the tears started. I went to sit by her, but it was too late. She ran into the bathroom crying. I let her have a couple of minutes, then I went in after her. I sat with her on the side of the tub for a while with her crying before I could understand her. She was apologizing. I asked her what for and she said she shouldn’t have cried. I told her she had the right to be hurt, to be confused, and to just be pissed off, that it sucked. Then she started again, even harder and this time she kept saying “I’m sorry. I made him leave.” over and over. The feelings I had right then ate me up. I was crying with her, but I was also more angry than I think I’ve ever been. I tried to not let it show, but I’m sure it did. That rat bastard didn’t even try to make sure she knew it wasn’t about her. He just told her that he wasn’t happy living there any more. I’m still dealing with a lot of anger over that. I just kept telling her over and over that it wasn’t her fault, that she hadn’t done one single thing wrong and that whatever problems he had were his, not hers. His mental issues caused this, nothing she did. After a while we moved to the couch and just sat. Then she took out her phone and headphones and put on music and slept. She seemed to be ok this morning, but I realize that she’s just putting that front on for everyone and choosing to keep her hurting private. I usually do the same thing, but being on this side of that is awful. I want to help her, but I know it needs to be on her terms. This poor, sweet girl who wouldn’t hurt a fly, who would hand over everything she had for someone else, is being hurt by someone she loves and trusted. :(