Shit went down. in Since OD is shutting down....

Alright so I have to back up to last Thursday. My roommate and I got into it, bad! It turned into a huge fight, him having our mutual friends on speaker and me calling the cops yet again. He knew I was on the phone with them. He left and ended up getting arrested. I won’t talk about why as I need to protect his privacy and I’m too worried about the wrong person seeing this and what not. He had no bond but got out Friday, the next day. He’s being charged with a felony, and has already had 2 so there’s a good chance for him to go back to prison.

Friday night he came over and got some of his things. My brother was here super drunk and really wouldn’t let me talk to him. He had gotten fired because of this whole incident and his car was impounded. We spoke over Facebook that night and the next day, last Saturday I picked him up and we got his car from impound. I paid for it. Stupid, probably but it’s in my nature to care about people and I already felt really bad for what happened and didn’t want him to be without his car.

I was an hour an a half late to work on Saturday because after we got his car we got some breakfast. I broke down 3 different times in the parking lot. I honestly just felt like it was a nightmare that I was never going to wake up from. My emotions were all over the place and I just couldn’t hold them in.

He came over Tuesday morning. I got home from somewhere and he was outside with his suitcase and a couple of other things. I asked him where he was going and he said he had to leave until his first court date, which is next month. I was absolutely rocked by this. I honestly STILL wanted him to come home and try to salvage things.

Well, Tuesday night .....I get off work and was over at my brother’s house talking to his girlfriend and we decide that we need to get my cooler. It was the original start the the argument Friday before I had called the cops. He told me he was leaving to go back home yesterday morning (Wednesday) so it was a now or never type thing. We go to his friends house and he did everything he could to make a drama out of it and was basically trying to get his friend to come home to do God only knows what to me. He had his friend bring my cooler out to my car and then we left.

He called after and was just being a complete bitch and I just put up with it as he still has my house keys. It wasn’t a pleasant conversation. He was being as cold and cruel as humanly possible, probably just to put on a show for whoever was listening to his end of the conversation.

I have called my landlord and my locks will be changed tomorrow. Even after everything that’s happened, I still wanted him to come back but after him saying he didn’t give a fuck when I told him I didn’t feel safe, I have decided he’s not coming back to my house. He’s super angry with me and so is his friends so I don’t feel comfortable knowing someone has keys to my house.

This entire situation seriously sucks. I’ve managed to get a lot stronger everyday and can actually think about it without getting really depressed or bawling my eyes out. He hasn’t been here in a week now and honestly, I really like having my living space back. There was so many things he did that just annoyed the fuck out of me and I’m glad I don’t have to put up with it anymore.

The hardest part is accepting this person didn’t give a fuck about me, what they put me through, or how much I wanted this to work. I still have a lot of emotions to work through as I still don’t exactly know how to feel at the end of the day but I can say that everyday is getting easier. I honestly never thought any of this shit could have happened in a million years but I just keep in mind that everything happens for a reason, including this.

I will say the bad outweighed the good. I seriously won’t miss him telling me how much everyone hates me, I won’t miss him costing me more money for bills and groceries, I won’t miss him leaving a water mess in the bathroom, and I definitely won’t miss him not being around. I can handle lonely but I couldn’t handle how he made sure he was NEVER around. He really fell off after the first couple months and it got to the point where he completely checked out. The past month, we barely spoke.

He used me. He mistreated me. He didn’t care how badly I just wanted things to work and how special it was when I actually got to hang out with him. He’s a very broken, self centered, cruel fucking bitch and if he continues to treat people like he treated me, he’s got a long, hard road ahead of him. I honestly believe I was a very good roommate. I paid all the bills and did all the house cleaning. I bared all that burden.

I just have to learn from this and move on. I refuse to EVER have another roommate. This was a complete nightmare. Things just kept getting worse and I know it wasn’t because of me. The only thing I did wrong was wanting a friend and I got a roommate. I am so angry at myself for letting this person bring me down like he did and caring too much. Again, I have a lot of emotional shit I need to work through. I’m debating on whether or not to change my number too.

I think I’m going to get off my computer and lay down. I’m super fucking tired because I haven’t slept hardly in weeks and I barely eat. I’ve lost about 12 pounds since all of this started and I’ve been smoking about 2 packs of cigarettes a day. I need to slow the fuck down and I will now that things are calming down.

More tomorrow before I go to work.