Thanks, Texas, Sexism?, and Relationships in BookThree: Flight Log 2016

(1) With everything that has gone on in the world over the last two weeks; I woke up feeling extreme gratitude that all of my family and friends are in good health and good form at the moment. Even if I can’t see them or be with them… it is good to know that they are safe, healthy, and continuing their lives with little impediment.

(2) I am curious about getting a vocal coach or getting back into drama. These were such big things in my life, and I’ve been away from them for so long, that I would love to get a bit of coaching to get those muscles back in order and look to enjoy it more. Of course… when I discuss it? Everybody goes straight to, “You could volunteer at the high school!” And it is that way with everything. You want to do X? “Help high schoolers learn about it and do it.” You want to learn Y? “Assist the person that teaches the High Schoolers!” Seriously? This town exists for the High School. I’d heard about that in Texas but… wasn’t familiar with it being a thing in Iowa. I understand you want to give your kids as much support and help as possible but… what about the adults? Seriously. Adult learning? Adult Community involvement? Not everything has to center around the High School and 4H. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.... no wonder so many adults in this area have problems with alcohol and drugs.

(3) I don’t know if this is sexism. I don’t know if this is simply an unfortunate aspect of our culture. But there are women in this world that could be excellent models. Legitimate, non-porn models. BUT they aren’t “the right height” or “their boobs are too big” or on and on. And it bothers me a bit. A short woman could do great modeling… especially as short women exist and should have legit-model representation. A woman with naturally large breasts shouldn’t simply be relegated to porn simply because she has a chest. There are women who exist in this world with large breasts and should have legit-model representation. I just… I don’t get how a beautiful face and quality body is immediately discarded because of height and chest size. Seems… ridiculous.

(4) I don’t know if you could call this in the same area as the previous item but it is about sex and relationships so… I’ll pretend that there was a segue of some kind.

I’ve discussed before that my wife and I are talkers. We overthink, we analyze, we dissect. The same can/could be said for our sex lives… even when it is a lack thereof.

Confession: I don’t know how to be Manly Sexy. This is true, and I’m certain it is a condition of why our sex life is the way it is. I can be Charming, I can be Cute, I can be Silly, I can be Effeminate. I can be commanding, I can be devious, I can be sly. But manly sexy… or at least whatever that means to my wife.... is simply something I’m not capable of.

Knowing that… I have often encouraged my wife… “If I can’t figure out the best way to seduce you… I’m all for you seducing me now and again.”

But she claims she doesn’t know how to do that. Which shocks me if I thought she was being 100% honest. I have photographic evidence that she certainly knew how to seduce me from 2005-2008. And it isn’t like I’m not self aware or communicative. Frankly, those of you who read me regularly could probably figure out at least one or two things that would do the trick. AND that is my communication to strangers who have no means of seducing me. My wife is very well aware of what would work. Even if she doesn’t know everything that would work, she certainly has a good start.

So… I’m back in that weird place, I guess. Where I can celebrate to High Hrothgar that I’ve actually had sex this year. I can be absolutely thrilled that I’m not still in that terrible 3 year period where Wife wouldn’t even consider sexual interaction. And I am happy about that. But… as I’ve said here before… I would love a full, healthy sexual relationship with my wife. Instead of… when she gets drunk enough once a month or less, she might let me “throw it in her” until she gets tired.