Traffic light epiphany in Daydreaming on the Porch

There’s a certain pathos about getting older that strikes me from time to time and at odd moments with a degree of epiphany that both delights and saddens. Certain mental vignettes can be quite paradoxical. I’ll explain why.

Yesterday, while driving to the post office, I was stopped at a traffic light and looked up at the blue sky and billowy white summer clouds. The air was warm – about 85 degrees. The windows were down in the car. In those few moments, stream of consciousness thoughts started racing through my mind. The busy thoroughfare I was on leads to the interstate and the Ravenel Bridge. Both are weekend gateways for day trips, so even though I was not heading out of town that afternoon, for a moment it felt like I was. Freedom beckoned. In a matter of seconds to a minute, I thought about how many countless road trips I’ve taken over the years, and about how many times I have traveled solo by car around the country. Long ago, back in the 80s. I recalled that now at 65, I might not have too many years left to savor that kind of freedom.

On a day that felt like early summer with it’s puffy, cotton-candy clouds, life suddenly appeared rich and fulfilling. How strange and wonderful! And, how blessed I am to have made it this far. I’m by no means “old,” but 65 was a real hard birthday this year.

A half hour later I was at home sitting in my favorite rocking chair on the porch finishing lunch. The warm sun felt good on my face. I’d be back at work soon, but that didn’t matter. All was really, really good for a while. I don’t feel that way often. My cares didn’t exist. They were temporarily forgotten.

(Written on May 27, 2016)

Scenes from a recent weekend road trip