Just for Fun in BookThree: Flight Log 2016

I’m exhausted. I hate that. Because I want to have the energy to do all of my work in the office, race home, greet my wife with a hug, do all the housework, spend some social time with my wife, then go to sleep so I can do it all over again. But it is never like that. It is wake, motivate, struggle at work. Work drains me until there’s nothing left, sometimes getting me to that point even before noon. Then after work, I go home. Collapse onto a couch or a chair. If Wife is home, resign myself to watch whatever she’s been watching all day on TV, then cook food and keep watching TV. If Wife isn’t home, grab a sandwich, play Skyrim until she comes home, and then watch TV until it is time to go to sleep. BUT… I didn’t come here to bitch. I’ve already said I’m going to try to do less of it. But the truth of it? I’m tired of being tired and annoyed that help is non existent. It isn’t that I need help because there is SO much work… it is that I need help figuring out how to do the work. I still maintain… ONE competent attorney is all this place needs. And dammit, I wish I could get help to become a competent attorney. But, I need to distract myself a bit. Because I’m falling asleep at my desk. And somewhat depressed about a case I just totally lost because I had no idea what I was doing. So SURVEY.

Before I get to the survey? One of the things I really thought I wanted to do as a kid was Film Critic. I love movies, I love writing… why wouldn’t I merge them? Thank God I didn’t go into that field because the internet has KILLED IT DEAD. That being said… i want to pimp this article… because if I couldn’t be a critic… I’m glad some people like me still grew up to write about movies: http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-reasons-its-now-impossible-to-tell-if-new-movies-good/

1. While at the beach, you decide to write a message in a bottle. What would it say? Who would you want to find it?

“If this bottle has made it to shore, it is proof of magic and miracles. Believe.”
and it would be cool if a little kid or a teenager going through their “life sucks” phase found it.

2. Name the top ten things on your bucket list?

Good one. From the “Appropriate Acceptable Bucket List”: Visit Japan, Visit Ireland, Read all of the books I own, beat all of the video games I own, raise a dog from puppyhood to its death, write several books (even if just for me), learn an Asian language, build my dream house, open my dream business, have a purely painfree and stressfree day.

3. If you wrote a song about your love life, what would the title be? Write the first verse.
“Waiting on Forever”
When I grew up, my father said, “Now son, listen to me ‘cuz God made you, and this whole earth, and your virginity.
He’s made for you a woman, to her you must stay true
so until you meet, let me repeat this is what you need to do:

4. Name one thing you wish your cell phone did for you that it currently does not.
Pocket Attorney Counseling Manual and Training: PACMAN

9. What was one rule from your childhood that you agree with as an adult?
Sacrifice is the truest expression of love

10. An alien has just abducted you. Give three reasons why it would send you back to Earth.
Defective Genetic Material. Too whinny. Got sick of me demanding that we go into business together marketing advanced alien tech to humans.

11. If you could indulge in anything without consequence, what would it be?
Allow me to answer that with the following:
Indulge in anything without consequence?! What wouldn’t be on my list?!

14. If you found yourself in Oz, what would you do different than Dorothy?
Demanded that my “boon” from the Good Witch be a two-way portal; so that our worlds could interact for the betterment of both worlds. And if she wouldn’t do it, shop the idea to the Witch of the West.

15. Name something you wish had a remote control that currently does not.
Life? I’ve seen the movie, I know the cautions, but I still wouldn’t mind a little

16. Talk about your favorite pair of shoes and why you love them so much.
Strangely… my work shoes. They are the only shoes that I have ever owned that have lasted any length of time.

17. Outline a “mission statement” for your life.
It could be argued that my 5 point new outlook attempt is a mission statement for my life.

18. Do you think dinosaurs and humans could coexist today? What would make that possible or impossible?
Let’s be bitterly realistic right now… humans can barely coexist with other humans or animals or plant life that already exist. Returning an extinct Alpha Species won’t suddenly make us behave.

20. Finish this sentence: “I would love to jump into a pile of…“
superpower bestowing radiation

21. Create a new character for the Lord of the Rings series. Write up a brief description of them and how they would change a major event in the story.
A daughter to Legolas, furious with her father for forsaking the traditional feud with the Dwarves becomes a paid assassin for mercenaries and bandits until one day she is recruited to take the White City. Her last act before rejoining the elves and going to the Undying Lands is to poison the Mûmakil slowing them down and weakening their hide.

24. Finish this sentence in three alternate and original ways: “When life gives you lemons..”
Demand to know where the lemons came from and if they passed through customs. Take a big giant bite out of it like it was an apple and spit the skin into Life’s shocked face. Drop the lemons into a jar of water and sell the idea to millions at Whole Foods.

25. If you could talk to Mother Nature, what would you say?
We are so sorry for everything we’ve done. If you wanted to, you could bestow me with super powers and I could be like an avenging angel for you?

26. You’re running for President of the United States. What thing(s) from your past could your opposition use against you?
My psychotic ex-girlfriend. The abortion my wife got before she met me. My pornography habit. My strong, sometimes conflicting, feelings on a number of complicated issues.

27. Name something you wish a movie theater would do or sell to enhance your movie-going experience.
HA! THIS is what the theater going experience should be. It is a bit expensive… but you can watch old movies, new movies, they have events, sing alongs… it was freaking perfect for my wife and I! Then I moved us to a place where the only movie theater within 30 miles of us; is this.

28. You’ve just been given a limousine for a day. What will you do?
Politely decline. There is no reason for a limousine around here. In fact, where did a Limo come from? Last I checked, it is a one to two hour drive to even find one!

29. Write a weather forecast for your day tomorrow.
Well, tomorrow it looks like it’ll still be in the higher summer weather, but we are expecting rainshowers to start coming down at 6 am and then again at 6 pm. Hopefully, that’ll burn off some of the humidity but considering the more severe weather fronts we’ve been experiencing, I’d stay tuned to find out just how bad the rain may be.

31. Have you ever taken a walk on the wild side? What was it like?
Honestly, the closest I’ve ever come was when I was dating the chick that tried to kill me. What was it like? Exhilarating, depressing, terrifying, sexually stimulating, emotionally damaging.

35. You have bought a sailboat, and you have to name it. What would you name your boat? Where is the first place you’d sail to?
The Disco Volante; I’d sail to Nassau and Key Largo

36. Do you find skeletons to be interesting or scary?
Typically fascinating. Human anatomy and psychology are both very interesting to me. Plus:

38. Create four new and original metaphors that apply to your life.
Metaphors are similes without the likes. (Facebook literary humor!)
He greeted each new day as a knight greets a dragon.
A thirsty man, desperate not for water but for everything.
The man who has nothing often wants the same as the man who has everything.

39. Have you ever experienced deja vu? What was it about?
I have often. I usually think that it is probably something from a dream playing out with more clarity. As though in my sleep, my brain processed a dozen scenarios and THIS one is one we’ve trained for.

42. What do you consider to be boring?
More than 4 days by myself; any 24 hour period where I can’t read a book or write something.

44. Have you ever had a bad injury or accident? How did you recover, and does it still affect you today?
Surprisingly, no. Even when I fell down the rock with the razor clams, all those scars healed completely.

45. Have you ever pretended to be someone else? Would you?
Considering I was an actor for 15 years? I would say Yes.

46. What gives you butterflies in your stomach? Do you like the feeling?
I could be wrong here, but the last time it felt like I had butterflies in my stomach feels like College. Because I equate that term with the energetic nervous joy that is most associated with young or new love.

47. Name something simple that brings you joy.
Uninterrupted sleep that I wake up from gradually and not by an alarm or a person

50. Have you ever felt stuck? What made you feel that way and how did you get “unstuck”?
I feel stuck often. I’m starting to wonder if part of it can be attributed to lack of windows. Working in the jail; I had no help, no direction, no guidance, and no respect or windows to the outside world. Here; I have no help, no direction, no guidance, no respect and no windows. It is eerie how many similarities there are between this job and the Law Library job in some respects.

51. Do you believe “power naps” are beneficial? Do you think they should be incorporated into the work place?
I think to each their own. Technically, I’d love to see more jobs go to a Task Centeric Approach versus a Punch Clock Centeric Approach. In so many jobs, you don’t need to require someone to be AT a job from X to Y.

52. How do you feel about bonsai trees? Have you ever had one? If not, would you want one?
I would love to have a bonsai tree!

54. Do you believe every cloud has a silver lining?
I really don’t. BUt I need to start trying to believe it.

55. Have you ever judged someone and later felt guilty about it? How did it change you?
Typically, I judge people by their behavior. It has been the case that a person, whose behavior I disliked, became a friend when their behavior no longer caused me issues.

56. Do you believe the truth will always come out? Has the truth ever set you free?
Truth, like art, is in the eye of the beholder.

57. What makes you feel complacent?
A random string of successes.

58. What is your favorite herb (rosemary, sage, thyme, etc.)? What do you do with it? Can you use it for more than just cooking?
I’m not really good with cooking most things; but I’d say Sage. Because the word sage also means “a profoundly wise person” and is a shade of green.

59. What does your “lazy day” consist of?
Current Lazy Days are about recuperating. But a perfect lazy day would involve some morning sex, some tv and video games, a bit of reading and frozen pizza

60. What gives you the most inner peace?
The answer to this question has changed many times and seems ridiculously elusive at present. It used to be reading quietly; then it was video games with friends… now, it may simply be “sleep”

61. If you could be in any band (past or present), what band would you be in? What would be your role?
Da Vinci’s Notebook. An acapella group that have done funny songs, tribute songs, and a whole host of things.

62. Describe what common sense means to you.
Common Sense: the ability to perceive, understand, and judge things shared by nearly all people and can reasonably be expected of all people without need for debate. In other words, “The Reasonable Person Standard.”

63. Describe three really awkward moments in your life.
(a) The time I was young at a big corporate picnic, had tried one too many experimental sodas, and the nearest bathroom was on the far side of the beach on an elevated bungalow. I made it to the bathroom okay; but I couldn’t make it to the toilet in time.
(b) The first time someone caught me picking my nose. Probably 1st Grade.
(c) This one time in High School, I was using the bathroom just off the kitchen. I was pooping, so I was seated on the toilet. My dad accidentally walks in, sees me sitting there, and starts screaming at me “for masturbating.” It was… awkward and aggravating.

64. Have you ever felt like someone was using you? If so, what were you being used for? Have you ever used anyone for something?
A good question for me as there are memories I am not proud of. I certainly feel like I’ve been used before. Most definitely. But, that is karmically fair as I was often using people for access to their video game consoles before I had the money to buy one myself.

65. Would you take a hot air balloon ride? If so, name the perfect place to take the ride.
I would love to! I’d like to take it over some rolling green vista somewhere like Ireland

66. Have you ever fallen asleep in public? Where and why?
Often. Because I count tanning beds, hospitals, airplanes, coach buses… and since I count all of those, the answer is an easy “often”

67. What has been the most rewarding experience in your life thus far? What made it so rewarding?
I really wish I could say graduating from High School, or college, or law school… or that I could say that it was getting a job… or that I could say it was my wedding; but that isn’t accurate. The most rewarding experience thus far was learning who I am, accepting it, and then (finally) finding people like me where I actually felt a sense of belonging. That is probably why Tiny Town sucks so much for me. All of those people are gone and I’m in a place that is certainly not very accepting.

68. Name your biggest pet peeve. Do you bring it to a person’s attention when they annoy you with it?
Selfishness. Selfishness and/or an unwillingness to explore oneself and the lives around them. I know I’m guilty of these myself from time to time… but to repeatedly act as though we aren’t part of a grand mysterious world, to focus exclusively on just ourselves… and then to never try to grow? BIG pet peeve.

69. Do you believe in miracles? Have you or someone you know ever witnessed one?
I believe in miracles because I have to. Not only is it the easiest and most rational excuse for a number of medical saves that I’ve received; but I need to believe miracles happen so that… since I’ll continue to need them, I can hope for them.

70. How do you feel about fast food chains? Is there one in particular you feel strongly about? Why?
Here’s the funny thing. In Omaha, I relied on them way too much. And I’ll admit that. It is why I’m now 220 lbs. Or for some readers a bit shy of 200 kilograms. Or for some readers 15.7 stone. So… it is good that I no longer have access to any. But at the same time… I don’t have access to any. WHAT the FUCK? What are we, Mongolia?! No McDonalds, no Burger King, no Hardy’s, no Wendy’s, no Dairy Queen, no Starbucks, no Taco Bell, no Taco Johns, no Pizza Hut, no Domino’s Pizza, no Little Ceasar’s, no Papa Johns, no Duncin’ Donuts, no KFC, no Chik-fil-A, no Sonic, no Jack in the Box, no Arby’s… nothing in the entire county. It is just… fucking baffling.

73. Have you ever been stood up? Why? By who?
I don’t believe I have. As far as the technical meaning of the term goes. Before cell phones were all the rage (I didn’t get one until college); I was supposed to meet a large group of friends at the theater for a screening of Lord of the Rings. Nobody showed up. Just me, alone, watching LOtR (again).

74. What would you consider a gray area in your life, and why?
I find this question remarkably vague. Do we mean grey as in “not one thing or the other” or do we mean grey as in “grey and dreary?” Vague question.

75. Do you believe in karma? Has it ever paid you a visit? If so, why?
I have made references to karma here; but I’m not sure if it is the spiritual karma and cosmic justice it can sometimes be painted to be. I would like to think there is a perfect justice somewhere… but I haven’t seen anything in my life to suggest that it can be found here on this earth.

76. As an adult, would you ever want a tree-house or dollhouse? Describe it.
FUCK YES! It would be The Ultimate Geek Hang Out! AKA… what the 3 Season Room was supposed to be before we discovered how fucked up the house is.

77. List at least three things you think are beautiful. Describe their beauty.
My wife 2005-2009. Not as an insult to her now; but she was stunning. Of course, she thinks I’m crazy for thinking that (now AND then). The love my brother has for his daughter. He was always the tough, sometimes bully, in our relationship and while we became friends as adults… I’ve never seen him more vulnerable, more protective, and more gentle than when he is with his daughter.

78. What gives you a sense of security?
Home. I know I harp on this shit; but a feeling of home. Which is exactly why the last time I visited my parents SUCKED. Because I was looking for that sense of home, and my Dad (intentionally or not) was trying to say “Tiny Town is home now. Make that feel like home.” And it’s like… dude, no. I’m willing to try, of course, but a place this corrupt, fucked up, and dying can’t feel like home.

79. Do you think “take it one day at a time” is good advice? Why or why not?
I tend to think it is awful advice, but it was what I need to do to survive here. It is awful advice because you need to plan for the future. If you don’t; when the future gets here, you’ll have to rely on improvising which isn’t always the best plan. Plus… one day at a time seems to make time pass SO slowly!!

81. How do you feel about diets? Have you ever tried one? Did it work for you or did it backfire?
I have never officially tried a specific diet. But I probably should.

82. Write your own positive quote about growing older.
Becoming an adult was the stupidest thing I ever tried this hard to do.

84. In your life, what has been your biggest reason to celebrate? How did you celebrate?
So far, biggest reason to celebrate was my wedding. It was the beginning of so many things. The beginning of my marriage, beginning of my time in Omaha, beginning of my time in Law School. It was an awesome party!

85. What season is your favorite, and what do you love most about it?
Autumn. It may not always agree with me; but I love it when the temperature gets cooler and the air gets drier.

86. What do you always have an excuse for?
Everything. I am the King of Excuses. I have one for every selfish thing I do.

88. What is the greatest act of kindness you have ever performed for someone?
Couldn’t remember. I know there are kindnesses out there that were big and were helpful; but I always figured keeping track was against the purpose of the deed.

90. Do you think chewing gum is beneficial or just a bad habit?
I don’t really chew gum much. It can be acceptable as a breath freshener, but other than that I see it as a potentially pointless habit.

91. How do you handle confrontation?
It depends a LOT on so many factors as to be ridiculous. Sometimes I’m the condescending prick; sometimes I’m the cryer; sometimes I’m the blustering loud mouth; sometimes I’m the quiet mediator… just… so many different ways!

93. Did you go to prom? What happened? If you said no, how do you feel about school dances?
I went to Prom twice. The first time, I went with my best friend Buffy and we went as a couple. It was good. Lots of fun. She was beautiful, loved to dance, we were close… it was great. Though, in hindsight, we should have gone as friends. We didn’t work as a romantic couple because… well… she’s a generally positive, fun loving person.... I’m an often dour, generally pensive guy. The second time, I went with a large group of female friends. It was good. Lots of fun. I was able to dance with a lot of friends, enjoy the fact that it was my last school dance ever… it was great. Though, in hindsight, I should have just gone with Aoife. She was part of the large group and… while I respect that the large group of girls went with me because of my psycho ex… it would have been nice for my last school dance to have had some element of romance and tenderness. Especially after such a hard, brutal year.

96. Describe your perfect romantic date (scene, setting and person).
I would love to move back to DM and take my wife on a day long date through the parts of the city she hasn’t had the chance to see yet. Go to my favorite sushi restaurant; take in a show; take her to Zombie Burger and then finish the night at the Up/Down.

97. What are your thoughts about reality TV? Is there any benefit to watching it?
Reality Television is a bane on society, a scar for American culture, and indirectly responsible for the relentless dumbing down of the collective consciousness. While all generalizations have some falsehood (since nothing is all of anything); I generally despise reality TV with a fire reserved only for those things I view as potentially world changing in awful ways.

98. Was your 16th birthday “sweet”? Was there anything memorable about it?
My 16th birthday was … entirely forgettable. I have no memory whatsoever of my 16th birthday. None.

99. What is your favorite store, and what do you love to buy there?
Favorite Store ever (so far) is Dragon’s Lair Comics in Omaha. You can buy Comic Books, Tabletop Games, Figurines, Clothes… it is a great store for a geek like me

100. How do you feel about the color red?
It is one of my.... top 5 favorite colors, I’d have to say. Green, Purple, Red… so top 3.