How to Buttsecks. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.

Materials Required:

• A phallic device for penetration. (Ex: a penis capable of a sturdy erection, a trusty strap-on, a feeldoe, etc.)
  
• A consenting anus. One does not simply engage buttsecks without a consenting anus.
  
• Your favorite (water-based) lubricant. When in doubt, Astroglide is your friend.
  
• Condoms.
  
• Optional: sterile gloves.

Step One: Obtain consent from your partner.

This is a no-brainer. If your partner is a “maybe”, then they are a “no”. Buttsecks is a commitment, and not something one should do with hesitation. If you are trying to get your partner to penetrate your personal anus, this still applies.

Step Two: Clean the butthole.

I have no doubt most of us shower on a regular basis, and make a point to clean the butthole. Like it or not, poop comes out of there. You gotta rinse out the rectum a little, as that’s where the activity is going to be.

I highly recommend an “enema bulb”. Unless your diet is atrocious, there won’t be anything “sitting” in your rectum. Still, a little activity in the area tends to cause magic poop to appear at times. It comes with the territory. If you’re poop-squeamish, give up now and go read a good book. Ideally, there won’t be a flood of fecal matter, but shit happens even in small amounts. Rinse the butthole multiple times - then shower.

Step Three: Awaken the butthole.

One does not just skip to coke-can cock or a dildo named Vlad the Impaler. Even if you’ve taken it in the butthole before, you need to relax your sphincters every single time you buttsecks. It is VERY useful to have a dildo smaller than what you’re going to be buttsecksing. I will reiterate this, but the single best advice I have for anyone taking it in the butthole: press out like you’re pooping. It’s the exact opposite of clenching, and will help relax your sphincters. Use lots of lube, then a little more. Once you can comfortably insert and remove the dildo/plug with confidence, your butthole is prepped and lubed. Obviously one can simply use fingers if a smaller dildo is not available. (Hence the suggestion of sterile gloves.)

Step Four: Ready the phallus.

Toys have the distinct advantage of always being erect. Organic penises are, well, a bit floppy in their nature. The more erect the penis, the better. Equip a condom. (Hey, be safe, kids.) The anus has already been lubed previously, but feel free to squirt even more lube directly to the anus, and directly onto the condomed phallus.

Step Five: Penetrate the anus.

Like I said, pressing out like you’re pooping will help relax your sphincters. While the user of the phallus can initiate penetration, it may be easier at first for the owner of the anus to control initial depth/speed. Your average human rectum is about five inches long; most people shouldn’t have to worry about the length of the phallus hurting them. Still, watch your depth, and if it feels uncomfortable, back off. Go slow until you’re confident your anus won’t go on strike. The anal owwies do hurt a LOT, but with practice you should be able to avoid them completely.

Step Six: Hump.

I shouldn’t have to elaborate on how humping should proceed. Apply more lubricant as needed.

Step Seven: Clean-up.

Discard condom. Wash penis and/or toys used. Wash the butthole - all that lube is still up in there.

Step Eight: Cuddle.

Congratulations, you have now successfully had the buttsecks. You deserve a merit badge, and post-scene cuddles. Always cuddle after buttsecks.