Super busy! in Since OD is shutting down....

OMG!!! So sorry to everyone who follows me on here. I am alive and well lol..just been super busy with work, my roommate, niece and that Dan guy. The past 2 weeks my right arm has been killing me and it’s affected my job, my sleep, and even driving. I went to a quack chiropractor the other day that charged me $50 to basically do nothing and I had to ASK him to adjust my neck and my back, which he did but didn’t do it hard enough for anything to actually pop.

I went to a different one today and she charged me $75 but did EVERYTHING without being told. I feel much better now but need to start using my left arm more. She said that my rotator cuff tendons were inflammed and mad and she was so good at adjusting them. At some point, she had me on my tummy and adjusted things, I went to sit up and I was so stiff that I was almost in tears. She rubbed some icy hot stuff on my back and used a pen thing that clicked a bunch of times and I was fine by the time I left.

That Dan guy…he’s really needy. He’s super adamant about me quitting my job and moving in, none of which is going to happen. He has like 20K left and is spending it like no other. He wants to take care of me blah blah blah but he doesn’t have much money left and I am all about making my own money and controlling my own life. He’s upset that I don’t spend the night but it’s because I like being in my own house and my own bed. I honestly feel bad but he’s drunk 24/7 and that’s something I’m not at all willing to deal with. He’s always been an alcoholic and he’s not willing to get any help for it.

My roommate went back home until Friday night. I know it’s good for us to get a break from each other and I haven’t text him since he’s been gone, other than to wish him a happy dad’s day yesterday. We got into it on Tuesday morning to the point where I threatened to call the cops on him and him taking my phone. He got in my face and I will admit that I deserved it. I will threaten to kick him out and even joking, it’s really started to affect him. I apologized, and told him that I say it only out of frustration. I don’t want him to leave.

I truly love him and care about him more than he’ll ever know. I think my biggest problem is feeling jealous because he really loves his kids and their Mom. I just wish I felt love from him like they do. I know that he’s got his walls up like I do but I thought after 4 months of living together, he would have opened up more than he has but there again, maybe I’m expecting too much right away. Maybe he’ll come around. I sometimes question if he’s with me or against me. He was telling me that one guy I used to work with said something about me being lazy and I blew the fuck up.

Being called lazy is probably one of the worst things you could call me. I work like a fucking dog and I’m constantly cleaning and organizing when I’m home. I’ve been told I’m lazy a lot lately and I don’t know if it’s just because people don’t like me or they want to see my bad side, but I get called in early almost everyday to do shit because it’s always stuff no one else will fucking do!!! I just can’t handle being told I’m lazy. I honestly never felt that I was so it’s frustrating to hear this kind of shit. Sometimes I wonder if anyone has anything positive to say about me.

I’ve hung out with my ex Dan recently and I’m honestly 100% okay with us not being a couple. I don’t want to date anyone and with him, he’s still infatuated with that dog and he annoys the fuck out of me at work. I’m glad that we are friends though and we get along. I do still care for him and want him to be happy but I definitely don’t want to ever date again.

I found out today that my tattoo guy is wanted for murder. I am absolutely devastated and completely rocked by this. They are saying he was on drugs and shit but I don’t see him killing anyone, even if he was strung out. He NEVER struck me as someone who could pick up a gun and kill someone. This guy is someone I truly respect and love so I’m really hoping this is some kind of mistake. I just can’t accept this at all.

Things are going pretty good. I hung out at my parents yesterday for Father’s Day. I got my dad a cool license plate card, took his truck and filled his tank, got him beer and smokes, and we visited. I also took my Mom’s car earlier in the week and filled her tank and bought them some groceries. I just feel bad that I’m not around hardly ever so it’s nice to see them and glad they are doing okay. We took my Dad’s truck yesterday and got a grill and got my Mom a new mattress. I talked to her earlier and she said she absolutely loves it.

Anyways, I need to go to bed. It’s been a great couple of days off and I’m now just hoping my arm will be okay tomorrow. I don’t want to be in pain anymore. It’s been 2 weeks of pure hell and I’ve left work early almost everyday because of it. I’m going to try really hard to be careful lifting stuff and make sure I’m driving with both hands.

I will be glad when my roommate comes back home. I do miss him and the house is way too quiet. I cleaned the house yesterday while I had my niece and it looks beautiful but I’ll make sure it’s clean by Friday before I leave for work as well. I got groceries tonight too.

Just wanted to check in with y’all and I’ll do my best to get to all the new entries in the next day or two and leave notes :) good night!!