my mom. yes again. in yes i'm aware it's 2016.

so this happened on...........well the 21st actually. again i don’t have a good track record w/ holidays.

‘I love my mom but wow. So on Tues. [yesterday] over the phone we were talking about my schedule. And she asked what time I was coming over. And I told her and she goes something like ‘well but you have that appt.’ and I go ‘no I don’t I took care of that. I emailed her and told her it wouldn’t work’. [ ‘her’ being the lady I have the appt. w/]. And then she [my mom] got into this whole thing of me not checking my email [well I check them but I don’t open them] but I told her the lady had called and my mom goes ‘well have you talked to her?’ and I told my mom I hadn’t because she left a voicemail. If the lady leaves me voicemails enough times I’ll email her and tell her not to. [ok so that’s a reason I don’t call certain people back].

So then. My mom goes on to say ‘well it sounds like you don’t want her help’. Well I don’t really think it’s fair to blame me for not knowing these things prior to being in services. which........somehow relates.maybe. I didn’t know a whole lot about going into services prior to being in them. The only thing I knew was that I didn’t want to be living at my mom’s the rest of my life. From what I recall no one had told me ‘so this is how it’s going to work’. Which would’ve helped. [being told something is different from experiencing it]. ‘

oh so the lady i had an appt. w/ debbie well she.does what susan did.and susan did what jennifer the yelling lady did.they’re like the go between people betewwn the house and the state.

‘My mom’s one of the things holding me back.er one of the reasons. [well so i’m choosing to feel that way but things don’t happen w/o contribution. It’s not like someone woke up one day and was like ‘so i’m randomly going to be angry today’]. I have my own way of doing things that she might not like but.it’s not her life. It seems like.she doesn’t think I have things like this figured out.when I do. Sure maybe it’s not her way but............5 + 4 is 7 and so is 2 + 9.
And believe it or not I do know how to handle certain situations. I am capable and intelligent and self sufficient and all.that. I’m not 13 anymore. [so then what’s the problem? well the problem is the friction].
In the past I’ve told her when it comes to things like this ‘it’s not your life. You’re part of it but it’s not your life’. I didn’t tell her that on Tues. because I wasn’t in a good enough place to. I’m a lot more capable then I feel like she gives me credit for. [yes but at least I realise and acknowledge that]. I’m not going to stop doing what i’m doing just bc of her. well, depending. Just like there are certain things she might not stop doing just because of me.or anyone. and this.might be one of them. [but I wish it was].

And the other thing I don’t like is she doesn’t acknowledge when I’ve done things like this. I don’t want her to like throw me a parade or anything [nothing big] but something like ‘ok you emailed her’ and then leave the rest up to the universe.or whoever. That’s usually what i’d do. [I realise it’s different since I don’t have offspring or anything]. ‘

so yeah. we were better untill.well things keep happening. so we’re better and then something happens.and then we’re better and then something happens. and then we’re better and..........