On and On - 01.01.14 in Your Face

Thanks for the suggestions in my earlier entry. I have a lot to think about. Our relationship is not yet in danger, but it certainly needs a lot more work to get it back to peak.

I haven't had a cigarette in 38 hours. I really need to kick it this time. I want to go jogging again. I don't want to die.

I need structure and am looking forward to going back to work. I need time to pass quickly, time to myself isn't agreeing with me right now.

I'm just waiting. I don't want to completely waste this life, that is why I am trying to be nicer, to help others. Even a small difference. If I die tomorrow, I don't want this time to have been for nothing.

So new years is over now, too. I wonder if M will get it together so that we can be together for our anniversary. We'll be married 4 years soon.

I just don't know what to expect from this year.