Best man at a lesbian wedding? in Holy Shit!

I just got the most random message from my friend Naomi (the one who’s getting married to her partner this weekend). She just asked me if I have a pair of black slacks, a long-sleeved white t-shirt, a black tie and black dress pants.
I replied, “Is that the dress code? I can get a tie.”
She replies, “It is for one of my best men. We are having two each and Brett (her best friend) just cancelled on me. Would you be willing to be one of my best men please?”

^queue shock-horror reaction here^

Okay, my first reaction to that was. “Who the fuck cancels being the best man for their friend’s wedding!?? 5 days out from it! Did somebody die?”
Then I was like, “Holy shit, she’s asking ME to be a replacement best man!”

This is a surprise. I was a groomsman for my little brother’s wedding last year but my suit for that was grey, not black. I apparently don’t need a suit, just the black pants and slacks (aren’t they the same thing???), white long-sleeve (which I have, but I don’t really like because of the faint stripes on it so I’ll prob replace that also with a plain white one, which I probably should have anyway) and I’ll go out and get a black tie.

Do I have to spike my hair up and shave the sides? Am I suppose to look like a lesbian to fit in? :P

I’m surprised at the dress code for the bridal party. I thought there may be a touch of rainbow in there somewhere. I know I will at my wedding whenever i find someone crazy enough to marry me :P
I guess they are going traditional.

Holy shit I’m going to be one of the best men at my lesbian friend’s wedding. We haven’t even been that close in many years, not since we worked together way back in like 2005/2006!
The wedding is this weekend so she must be grasping at straws, but I am thankful she’s thought of me. Apparently her best man who cancelled has a flight to the USA that he can’t get out of. Fair enough.
I just checked with her. Apparently there’s no rehearsal but she asked if I can arrive early. How early? I’m only picking up my hire car at 8:30am and the wedding is meant to be starting at 11am. I guess it’ll take an hour to drive there, so I could get there by 9:30am, maybe 10am with a bit of lee-way. Is that how you spell leeway? LOL.
Do I need to bring a band-saw? Flannel? Power tools?
Okay, I’ll stop being a stereotypical bitch :P
People are gonna be like, “Who the hell is this guy?” because we haven’t worked together in years! I haven’t even met her fiance’!

I gotta go buy a black tie.
I’m trying to get details on how early I should get there, but she’s just replied, “So you will be a best man?”

I replied, “Yes Chooky (our pet-name for each other) I am happy to help you out.”

Now I’m wondering if I should have said it that way LOL. Oh well. Don’t wanna make a butch lesbian angry now do I? :D

Last updated May 22, 2016