Naomi and Tracey's wedding in Adventures in paradise

I just got back from Noami and Tracey’s wedding.
It wasn’t without a little bit of initial drama though.
I went to pick up my hire car this morning, and that’s all well and good. I opted for the insurance, even though the cost of that is like double of what the actual car hire is grrr, but hey now at least I have peace of mind in case I do encounter some wanker on the roads, and boy I sure did this morning lol. Just about collected some poor guy on the roundabout haha. All good though!
Anyway, when I first got the car, I drove it back up to my home in Spring hill, but it wouldn’t change out of first gear! It’s an ASX, which I haven’t driven before, but it’s a BIG car, compared to the Hybrid which I’ve had the last few times. Anyway, I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what I was doing wrong, and I decided I wasn’t gonna risk driving this thing only in God-damn first gear, so I took it back to the rental place, marched in there with my papers and demanded to know what the fuck was wrong with the car. I hadn’t done this! Whoever was before me must’ve fucked it up lol (you know - customer is always right motto! “I’ve hired heaps of cars from here and never had a car do this before!” etc etc. About time I put it on the other foot lol.)

The guy behind the counter assured me it had been serviced, but I wasn’t so sure. I really wanted another car. This one was too big AND it had NSW number plates on it. It’s State Of Origin week. I do NOT need to be driving an NSW number plate car. So my mind told me that someone must’ve have driven the car up from NSW and fucked it on the way up.

Anyway, so they got on their walkie-talkies to the car cleaning guys in the carpark and I went and stood by the car and waited a few minutes for one of the guys to come over to show me what I was doing wrong, or if it fact, there was something wrong with the car.
He jumped in the drivers seat and I jumped in the passenger, and we went around the block. Of course, it worked perfectly fine for him. Apparently what I’d been doing was when I’d put it in ‘D’ (for Drive), it had gotten locked over in the right-hand position, which is apparently for mountain climbing/steep areas etc. He said that sometimes it can get locked over on that side, even though I’m sure this guy was thinking, ‘What a fucking moron this guy is.’ LOL!
Hey, at I wasn’t taking chances and fucking that car up anymore than I thought it was. I thanked him and shook his hand and was on my way. As he closed the door, he said to me, “Send my wishes to the lucky bride and groom.”
It was only when I’d taken off that I realized he’s just assumed the norm of the ‘bride and groom’ title, and I said out loud, “Dammit!” because I should have corrected him haha. I had earlier told the lady who booked me my car that my friend was marrying her girlfriend.

I found my way to Redcliffe easily enough, but I got a bit lost as to exactly where on the esplanade this wedding was. I’d gone too far to start with, so drove back to try and find some people, but I only saw a table with balloons on it, so I parked there for a while until someone tapped on my car window. I winded it down and some exasperated lady asked me if I knew where the wedding was. I’d changed into my wedding clothes once I got to the first place I’d parked and drove from there, so she must’ve realized that I too was lost. Anyway, so I rang Naomi (whilst feeling terrible about ringing the bride 20 minutes before her wedding was due to begin) but I was surprised that she answered. We spent a while chatting back and forth and me handing the phone to whoever this annoyed chick was, and eventually I said we’d try and find them and I turned around and drove back the way I’d driven in. I saw a heap of people in formal-wear and thankfully recognised Noami. I swear they weren’t there when I’d driven by earlier!

It wasn’t very well organised haha. I was just given a briefing on what was happening on arrival and someone attached a rainbow rose to my shirt. Apparently I was meant to hold a bottle whilst they poured sand from the beach into it to symbolize their marriage. They were doing a ‘Guards Honour’ when Tracey arrived and walking through that whilst all of our arms were stretched above them. That was to the tune of “My Heart Will Go On”. I was paired up with the ringboy who was a guy who looked about 8 years old or so. I have no idea what kids ages are haha. He was a hilarious bundle of energy though. The celebrant suggested that everyone introduce themselves and he shook the hand of the lady next to me and said, “Hi! I’m…” and the lady cut him off saying, “Who are you?” He finished introducing himself and added, “.... and I’m also your son!’ There was a taller kid next to him, so I figured that was his brother and they were both her sons. She seemed like one of those really cool trendy mum’s too. Like, totally raising her kids right and they were joking around and I actually found myself becoming a bit clucky, like holy shit, how cool would it be to have a family like those guys!

The wives-to-be looked very smart in their vests. There wasn’t a dress in sight, other than one other girl who I used to work with OVER A DECADE AGO who’d worn a flowery skirt. It was great to chat to her and catch up a bit after so long.
I’d barely recognised her until someone asked, “Is there a ‘Matt’ here?” and I raised my hand and knew that must be her.
It was the first time I’d met my friend’s wife, Tracey, and they seemed like a very cute couple. You know, as cute as butch lesbians can be :P
The other groomsman on Naomi’s side was her nephew, whose name was Mitchell I think. He looked kinda bored to be there lol. Maybe he just had resting bitch face (RBF)?

The ceremony was short and beautiful. The vows were just gorgeous and I felt like I wanted to tear up at Naomi’s. I also learned that today was also one year exactly since the day they first met. The sand was poured into the jar (out of my view) but then handed back to me, filled, so I could hold onto it.

Then there were more photos. They’ll take a while to come through, so I’ll post what I can find in time. I took a few with my phone but they are pretty shit. I did take a pic of the rose pinned to my shirt though, because I thought it was pretty.

Excuse my gross hands haha.

I made sure I wasn’t needed for any more photos and then took off home. I’m writing this now as I have a little bit of time before I head off to Sheldon’s birthday party. It’s all-you-can-eat so I am SO going to take advantage of stuffing my big fat face as soon as I get there :P

It’ll be another event where I barely know anyone other than the host. Ergh haha. Oh well, I got through one, I can get through another.

I tried taking a selfie of what I wore when i got home, but it ended up being an epic-fail attempt, so I’ll post it anyway and await the decent ones from the photographer. I hope there’s at least one good one of me.

Last updated May 28, 2016