No Weekends For You (Me)... in meh...

So for every weekend in the month of May I’ve had my grandson. Love him to pieces, but Gaddah needs time for herself sometimes. It breaks my heart when he cries because “I really wanna be witchoo…” I love him that much too, but I don’t love him enough to want to raise another child. That is totally selfish of me and that is such a lie because I would do anything for him.

I talked to my daughter about him staying with me when school is in so that he can have someone to watch after him. Her work hours suck. Real bad. I’ve talked to my son about it. I’m hoping that I can make decent money with my pending gig (when I’m able to actually BE a paralegal) so that I can get him into an after care program so my son won’t have to have him because I’m trying to keep him on track as well.

My daughter…

She has so much on her plate and it makes me sad for her. I can’t help her the way she needs me to and that in itself stresses me out. From the day I had her to today, I’ve only wanted to be a good mother to my children, to afford them opportunities and life did not go according to the script I had written. It’s utter bullshit.

She owes money and is about to be put out of the apartment she is in and has to go to court next week because of this.
She was supposed to move into a house with her now ex-boyfriend and the deal was shady so there was no move in and he allegedly wants to be with someone else, but keeps trying to string my daughter along. She sees it for the bullshit it is and wanted to be done with him, but it is HE who has the trouble with letting go.
The ex-boyfriend took some of her things from the apartment, took them to this house and then conveniently “lost” the key and wouldn’t give her things back. I took her to a hangout and she confronted him. I was supposed to follow him there, but he decided to be an asshat and “lose” me in the traffic. So we went to the house anyway where she went around back, bumped the door and got her shit. I heard a loud crash and thought something happened. I locked grandbaby in the car and was about to run into this house and whoop some ass. But she was alone and said one of his jars broke. So we packed my car, dropped the stuff off, then I took her grocery shopping. Dropped them off and she sat on her pullout and cried and I hugged and held her because that’s all I could offer.

She is frustrated, stretched out, stressed out and I understand and I ache for her, but there is only so much I can do and a lot more I can’t. So I called later on because I told my little love bug that I would call him to read him a story.

Guess I’m going to have him next weekend too. I still need my weekends, but I’m giving them up for a good cause you know?

I’m also in the throes of trying to plan a bowling party of some sort for my son for graduation. I’m just hoping he will do what needs to be done so I can get these tickets to split with his dad. Ugh. I keep forgetting about his father because he is such a non-factor in all of our lives. But that’s another story for another day.

So with this being said, and gotten off my chest, I need more tequila. I don’t even like tequila, but I would like some.

Have a wonderful rest of your day.

Kindest regards,
Sister