Ugh, fuck today. in Since OD is shutting down....

I was super fucking crabby before I went to work and then on top of it, it was snowing and shitty so I ended up going in the fucking ditch. It was absolutely terrifying. I didn’t even want to work tonight. I called my brother and he came with his truck and pulled me out. I was sliding, fishtailing, almost hit someone coming from the other way and finally ended up in the damn ditch. Thank God I was alright and so was my car. I was distracted because my Mom kept texting me about some stupid candles I have in my car.

I didn’t feel that great today and I’m glad I didn’t have a long shift. I felt really dizzy and lightheaded and then when I was going in the ditch, my back stiffened up so my back hurt all night at work. I called my roommate and asked him to be home when I got here so we could talk about things. Of course he’s not here so I text him and let him know it was complete bullshit and I can see where his priorities are.

He came home a couple of minutes later and said I need to quit bitching and nagging so much. I told him that it really bothers me that he’s never around and he straight up told me that he doesn’t give a fuck. That cut like a knife but I do have to accept that we are 2 individual people with our own lives and it’s not his fault that I don’t have a social life. I can’t just expect him to be around all the time to make up for no one else giving me time in their life. I can’t put the key to my happiness in someone’s else’s pocket.

I do understand where he’s coming from. It just upsets me that we used to hang out all the time and now it’s rare when we actually see each other. I just wish I had normal friends that actually wanted to hang out, not just when they need me to bring them cigarettes or sodas. I just don’t get why people are the way they are but I have my reasons why I stay away from everyone. I just got so used to having him to hang out with that it’s hard for me to wrap my head around him never being home anymore.

Anyways, I’m gonna scroll through Facebook and go to bed. I really hope tomorrow is a better day. This week is already starting off like shit so I’m scared what the rest of the week is going to be like.