Distracted and Somewhat Dreamy in Everyday Ramblings

We had a stiff cold breeze yesterday that blew a lot of the crud out of the air and we had some partial clearing in the late afternoon. This morning though the heavy 100% humidity living in a cloud fog is back. Later we will have rain.

I have discovered that standing on my head is much easier now that I weigh less.

I did a ritual to let the negativity of this last year go. At least I got a good start on it.

And I had a seven-hour date with Mr. Fine China yesterday.

We had a lovely relaxed time. No big reveals. We walked up and had coffee for him, hot chocolate for me to the bagel place on the Portland State Campus. (I was astonished to find the Starbucks closed.) And then we walked along the river on the west side, then across, then along it on the east side for a couple of hours until his knees started talking to him.

Without going into too much detail I told him about Mr. Finch, and the general outline of my jobs and life since 1999, when we stopped seeing each other. Wow. I was thrilled to hear that he has done a good job of absorbing his last divorce that happened just 6 years ago.

It was easy to be with him and a little less one sided than it used to be. He seems kinder as well and more compassionate. I am sure I am as well.

We came back and chatted about Reiki and his training and a little bit about my experiences with alternate methods of healing.

And then as he was leaving he asked me if I wanted to make out.

!?!

I had to consider this for a time. It wasn’t a quick easy decision for but it in the end I was thinking about how fleeting life is and so I said, oh sure, what the heck.

Boy, am I a cheap date or what?

I was basically terrified. It has been one hunk of a long time and the last man I had any kind of intimacy with, ummm, died. It is all well and good to imagine something like this in the safety of one’s imagination but a whole other to actually encounter moving closely towards another human stone cold sober in the middle of the afternoon on New Year’s Day.

It was awkward, funny, intense and sweet. I hadn’t touched him in something like 13 years. We tried to figure out what we had remembered and what we had forgotten.

Over the next few weeks memory will smooth out the little bumpy parts of our make out and I will have this blissful memory of him holding me in his marvelous swimmer’s arms with great tenderness for the rest of my life.

And speaking of bliss, I pulled the Ace of Pentacles as my Tarot card for 2014. It is a most auspicious card in many ways. I think of it as new beginnings in the physical world. And also a connection to energy on many different levels.

And I could use some energy too. I am tired I admit. Still not completely over the cold. It was a challenge to clock-in this morning at work and do what needs to be done.

But I am plowing through it.

Distracted and somewhat dreamy as I am.