It's Not Fair in Him

It’s not fair that you keep mentioning that I blocked you on social media.
You keep saying it and it makes me wonder if you remember the reason why.
I mean, you said you understood, but if you keep saying this every time we verbally speak then I wonder.

You are lucky I answer your text messages. You are lucky I answer your phone calls. While I don’t want you anymore (even though sometimes I do) you remain a reminder of me being unwanted. I know I pushed you away and reeled you back in, but you came back in because you wanted to. You never said you didn’t want to do this because you love her. You did this while allegedly loving her. Up until the time you were going to get married. If I didn’t put a stop to it, you would have kept it going, no?

So yes, to keep my feeling from being hurt, to keep me barred from the wonderful life you seem to have, I removed you from being right in my face with your happy life while I’m over here grinding to get mine. It was the only way I knew how. And when I told you that, you said you understood. I needed my space. And even then you kept talking to me. You emailed me, you texted me. Who can’t stay away from whom?

So I cut you off before you had a chance to brag about going to Dubai. “Yeah, I’m back in the states…” Congratu-fuckin-lations. I’m going to use you as much as I can because you don’t give a shit about me.