to the tune of TMBG's "Damn Good Times" in song parodies

my bard isn’t a natural lancer
but my paladin is a natural lancer
he don’t believe in any in-betweens
he’s got a stick up his ass but he’s great with a lance

my paladin don’t like in-betweens
he’s got a big fuckin’ horse it’s a valiant steed
he’ll fill a party’s hybrid fighter-healer needs
he’ll be at epic levels when he gets to twenty-one

my paladin, he’s a natural lancer
with a sword and a shield, he’s a natural lancer
there’s a spell that he casts that’ll keep your ass alive
and he wants a sword that’s plus-five

he’s a lawful guy he’s a lawful guy (good aligned)
he wants a sword that’s plus-five (good aligned)
he’s a lawful guy he’s a lawful guy (good aligned)
he wants a sword that’s plus-five (good aligned)

could he do an evil deed? yes he can but he won’t
cuz he’s lawfully aligned and that’s not a joke
when it comes to moral codes, he is ossified
so all you neutral evils better step aside

you can’t give him amnesia
got all kinds of charm on his armor
he’s got one that’s strong against amnesia
also against poison and petrify and stun

my paladin, he’s a natural lancer
with a sword and a shield, he’s a natural lancer
there’s a spell that he casts that’ll keep your ass alive
and he wants a sword that’s plus-five

he’s a lawful guy he’s a lawful guy (good aligned)
he wants a sword that’s plus-five (good aligned)
he’s a lawful guy he’s a lawful guy (good aligned)