trigger warning in poetry

sooner than later all of this bullshit will be over
some religions say that we will be in another place entirely
some religions say that we will be back here again
but we will remember nothing so we might as well be somewhere else entirely
science says that we will simply end and be nothing nowhere again as before
still in certain senses of the words
they all more or less agree that
sooner than later for each of us
all of this bullshit will be over
all of the pain and the joy
the confusion and the bliss
the loss and the contentment
in one way or the other soon
this thing we experience
this thing we call experience
will have ended in some fashion
so goddamn it we have to make it count while we can

sooner than later all of this bullshit will be over
which is equally terrible in its responsibility
as it is wonderous in the freedom it allows
you only get so long to have to keep trying
you only get so long you get to keep trying
it is scary
it is amazing
there is so much good you can do
there will be a point when you are forced to stop
exhaustion will eventually allow you your rest
despite the fact that your work is never complete

all I ask
is to let my death consume death
let my life hold off pain and suffering for as long as it can
then let my death whenever it happens
in two hours or seventy years
hold off death and pain and suffering
for one last ridiculous glorious time

when I am dead all I ask
is that my mourners steal a police car
all I ask is that my mourners fill that
stolen police car with dynamite and more dynamite
all I ask is that my mourners then
put my corpse in the drivers seat
aim the car toward something that makes death
something that makes guns perhaps
drop a heavy old brick on the gas
rev up the engine as high as you can
all I ask is that my mourners then release the brake
allowing my corpse to pilot one last time
a ridiculous attempt to stave off suffering
as my mind had piloted my body to do so
for so painfully long
for so beautifully long
watch the factories of suffering and death
explode and burn my old body away
because I’ll be already gone
but think of me
for a little while
as it burns

sooner than later all of this bullshit will be over
it will be a tragedy
it will be an opportunity to finally rest
until then we have the chance
the responsibility to hold back death and suffering
for a little while
for as long as we can

but myself personally
I hope you make my death eat death too
in a beautiful stupid kaboom
because not only is life too short and too long for everyone
I myself am also
just a little bit crazy