Exhaustion. in Since OD is shutting down....

Alright so my days off have consisted of me sleeping and not getting much time with the niece because of it. I honestly don’t know if it’s an Adderall crash or just months of running on pure adrenaline that’s finally caught up to me, but if I feel this exhausted tomorrow, I’m going to the ER. I feel like the biggest piece of shit because I wanted them to bring her yesterday morning (Easter) to get her other basket I had for her and just couldn’t get up to answer the door because I didn’t hear it. I told my brother I wanted to see her tonight and then napped on the couch for 3 hours and by the time I got up, it was almost her bedtime.

I’ve had some serious burning in my right toes, wrists, and even my hips and I think it’s either from the Adderall dehydrating me and I’ve lost Magnesium from drinking so much water, or it’s from smoking. I’ve noticed it in the past couple of weeks and it’s definitely becoming something I can’t just ignore. I’m still able to work and everything but I’m scared that it’s something that’s going to affect me working. I’m terrified. I’m going to get some Magnesium supplements at Walmart tomorrow and see if that helps. If I wake up still super tired tomorrow, I’m calling in and going to the hospital. I need to know what the fuck is wrong with me. My days off have been consumed with sleep and I haven’t felt this run down in a long fucking time.

All of this is teaching me I need to learn to get enough sleep and Adderall isn’t the answer. I know that without it I’ll go back to struggling to stay focused and getting annoyed with myself because I can’t but if I take the Magnesium and it gets rid of the burn I’ve felt in my toes and wrists, I’m completely done taking that shit. I thought the burning in my toes was from the plantar fascitis because my shoes were wore the fuck out but I got brand new shoes and my toes still don’t feel right. I also have sore muscles in the back of my legs but I think it’s from going up 6 flights of stairs the other night.

I haven’t taken Adderall since Saturday night and plan to leave it in the bottle, at least until I can figure out why I have burning in my joints. I also need to quit smoking which is going to require me to call the Quitline and get the patches. I honestly worry what I’m going to do with myself if I’m a non-smoker but I never planned to smoke for a year now when I stopped for almost 4. I need to figure out what to do with my stress and have a different outlet.

Anyways, I’m gonna go to bed. I hope to God tomorrow is going to be a better day. I really don’t want to go to the ER but if I get up and still feel like I’m not going to get through my night at work without passing out, I’m going in. I know there’s something wrong and I would bet anything it’s Adderall induced.