sad in Torridaussity Two

I have been going through a lot and have been very stressed lately and in the midst of that chaos, I thought I had met someone from a dating site and we talked non stop for almost three weeks and on that site I had plenty of pictures of myself, but today I did a full selfie in the mirror and apparently he didn’t like what he saw because he just stopped communicating. Apparently I wasn’t good enough even though my pics look the same. I am so done and over men. I either find ones who love who I am, but not how I look or the ones who just want sex, but don’t want to be in a relationship. Right before I met this guy I was ready to delete all my profiles and let dating go. In the next few days that is going to happen. I am so tired of getting my hopes up and then being crushed, this one really hurt, because it is always my fear that I will be rejected because I am not the perfect looking person and that’s what happened. I am just incredibly soul wrenching sad.

So I am my own worst enemy always fearing the worst. He messaged me this morning and I was open with him about how I felt and he said he never got any messages from a certain one and that he didn’t want to stop talking to me. We agreed that if one of us ever felt that way to just say so that neither one of us would just disappear. I made myself miserable by assuming the worst and it is my own fault for not waiting to see what today would bring. History and my emotions really mess me up. So here’s to what the future will bring for now we are still talking. Thank you all for your support and for the love, it’s because of you all that I write here.

Last updated April 25, 2016