Turn up the music so I can't feel my pain. in Other shit.

Nothing feels better than loud ass deep bass that you can feel in your bones MUSIC.

Jammin in the car. Last day (hopefully) of Christmas shopping. Alone.

Invited to go with friends but I want to be alone.

I feel like bawling my eyes out everytime I get in the car. I miss Lion so fucking much. But. He doesn't love me. I have to accept that. Right?

I have to swallow life's nasty bitter "ha ha tricked you!" pill. I believed he loved me.

But as each day passes and he just lets me go. I know if he loved me truly he would be doing whatever he can to relieve whatever hurt I felt.

Fuck he would JUST MISSSSSS ME ENOUGH to call and do what he could.

But that's not happening.

ANYONE would feel unloved in my.position.

So. I turn the music up loud enough that I can't tell if it's my "hurt" throbbing or the bass in the music thumping....

I love this man so much. So much. So much. But he not mine anymore and he doesn't care. He doesn't want me enough to even call me.

I feel so worthless. Even with men flirting with me. Its like I can't even FATHOM loving anyone else like I love Lion. So what's the fucking point?

Maybe I should wear a sign that says, "Don't bother. Ruined woman forever."

Oh God. I sound so fucking pathetic. Right? Imagine how I'm feeeeeeling....

Ugh.

I'm gonna make myself cry. I better keep going.

I love him so much. Why doesn't he miss me enough to try to keep me? I miss so much when he used to love me.

Fuck. Here come the tears.

Oh great and "Say Something" is playing now. Sob! Just shoot me now... "And I'm feeling so small...."

"And I will stumble and fall"

"ANYWHERE I WOULD HAVE FOLLOWED YOU"

"You're the one that I'll love and I'm saying good bye"

"Say something, I'm giving up on you."

WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! SOBBBBBBBBBBB!!!!!!!

Boop.