Gossip? Again? in Understanding the Unthinkable

Okay. I get it. From time to time, we ALL gossip to one degree or another.

But sometimes, it just hurts.

As most of you know, my son died of hyperthyroidism, possibly inherited, possibly triggered by an addiction to pain pills. We take much comfort in the fact that he had come out of his addiction before he passed away, but the nightmare we lived with him during that time has cut us to the bone.

Nick was handsome, lively, and well liked before his slide into drug addiction and when he died, he was drug-free (and I have the autopsy report to prove it to doubters, though none have the guts to say it to my face), smiling, and full of plans for the future. Did he burn bridges? Yes, but some have come to understand that everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, is worthy of love. Drug addicts are oftentimes the ones who hurt the most. They cover it up.

So when a guy from our church, who has been through the same struggle, fell off the wagon, my heart broke. I’d hoped for his success. He robbed the petty cash fund at our church and disappeared. He was picked up after committing several robberies…most of them charities who help those who are struggling.

His mug shot was in the newspaper, along with an article that also reported that he told the police he’d done the robberies because “I’m a #$*% crackhead”. He looked awful. He was smiling for the picture, that’s how out of it he was. I could see in his eyes that he was high.

My heart broke. He was doing so great over the last few years. It ripped me apart that he saw himself as nothing more than a crackhead. It broke my heart that he was so out of it. And I was heartbroken that he robbed really good people.

But what hurt me the MOST was the mean things people said about him. They left mocking notes on the police website. People couldn’t wait to spread the gossip, even some of the members of our church. Apparently they missed the recent sermon about how one of our core beliefs is that we are a hospital, not a courtroom?

I hurt for the guy I know is in there, under all that crack. I’m glad the crazy roller coaster he was on has been halted. I’m sorry for the groups that were robbed of their already strained resources.

But I also hurt for his mother who hangs her head in shame and wonders where she went wrong.

And about the person from our church who scrambled to send me a message that the guy had been arrested? I wish he knew that I now know that he also spread gossip about my own son, since he delights in such information.