TWITTER: Ex in BookThree: Flight Log 2016

I’m simply trying to while away another few minutes; clock out and go home. But dealing with the abundance of mentally unbalanced in here, it encourages me to reflect and consider something....
We are all the center of our own stories. We think of ourselves, often, as the rational one to which irrational things are happening. Or some variation of that theme. And it makes me wonder if my psychotic ex would, in fact, consider me to be the psychotic ex. If, in her mind/memory/retelling of events… she was just a girl in love experiencing terrible things… and I was a manipulative boy using her for his own ego. I’m certain with a selective memory of the events, such an argument could be made. After all, if one’s behavior is seen by the individual as “standard” then… perhaps her memory of events would depict me as cold, manipulative, and uncaring. Whereas, since my behavior is seen by me as more “standard”… I saw her as clingy, emotionally unstable, abusive, and eventually psychotic. I mean… obviously, the way I tell it suggests my own perspective. She would sob when I would leave her place (to go home or to school) and that seemed… odd. She would strip naked and run around a public place instead of finish a conversation with me which made me… very uncomfortable. When I would try to be with friends and have time to myself, she would call me terrible things and make me feel 2 inches tall which I found… hurtful. When I wanted to have a genuine moment, she would put my hands down her pants or try to unbutton my pants which… was confusing. When I tried to break up with her, she tried to kill me and then she tried to rape me which… was not acceptable. And afterwards, she perpetuated deep physical violence upon my face.

So, yeah… obviously, I don’t feel like my understanding of events is wrong. Nor do I feel bad about being concrete in my belief that she was the crazy one. But I do wonder… was she/is she able to see her past actions clearly; or am I (to her) the psychotic and evil Ex?