Fragmentation in Secrets from myself

My writing life is all over the place.

At 750words my streak will get to 365 mid January. That's private and surprisingly satisfying.

At OD my history lives. I've been there ten years and I am 'public' there.

In 2013 I promised to write daily at 750words and OD I haven't written every day at OD but I've come close - generally as close as I can.

At PB I'm user 128. I have a bunch of books that serve vague purposes. I do not feel an obligation to write here. It's more private than OD but less private than 750words.

I have stripey notebook too. It's for handwriting and it's portable. I haven't written much in the last few months. I want to close it out for 2013 and get another one for 2014.

I'm thinking next year's notebook might be a calendar book. I met a lovely woman who was waiting for her equally lovely daughter to have some kind of test at Gundersen in Prairie last Thursday. She was checking and writing in a similar calendar notebook. Her's was for two years and had a double page calendar for each month and then pages with sections for each day of the month. She said it had happy sayings throughout it. She said she could use some happy sayings

My photos are getting fragmented too. I have two active accounts in Photobucket, one a paid one, thanks to the generosity of a friend. I use both accounts kind of randomly so some pictures are in one and others in the other.

I don't have much plan for my life.

And now my work life/retirement life is getting about as complex.

Last month I lost my job that I'd had for four years, nine months and three days. I was told to check back after the first of the year - that there might be job in another part of the company.

Meanwhile to collect unemployment i had to apply for two jobs a week. I got one of the jobs I applied for the first week - overnight stocking in the big box store.

Then I got one of the jobs I applied for the second week - making wiring harnesses for a plant i worked for part time thirteen years ago. The second job pays better, involves less driving, and is something i know how to do. It's also four ten hour days so I would have automatic three day weekends.

So I quit the overnight stocking job.

But what happens if the first job wants me back? I applied there too. It probably pays better than the second job - or is it the third job?

I'm confused. I would able to pick up my medical insurance and vacation pay and 401k and other benefits if I went back to working for the same organization.

Meanwhile I've applied for Medicare. I asked for it to start January 1. I haven't heard back whether it will or not. Maybe the only way I'll know is if they take the money out of my SS check.

Meanwhile I paid my COBRA basic insurance for December and I can keep paying that if Medicare doesn't click in. It should though.

Incidentally Medicare is $104 a month, and COBRA is $240. With Medicare I have to buy some kind of drug insurance that will cost twenty or so dollars.

I guess what I mean is that six months ago I thought I knew what I was doing but I'm not so sure anymore.

None of this matters. It's a series of games I play. With myself and with the world.