EMOTION: Persistent Anger? in BookThree: Flight Log 2016

I’m surprised… and a little disappointed in myself. A full hour workout and several hours of cool down… and I still find myself downright FURIOUS about the Law Library thing.

I really thought I’d work past it in a few hours but… no. It is still making me so angry. After 3 years of dedicated service and hard work, I stepped up to lend a hand in an hour of need. I said, “Sure, I’ll take care of the Law Library until you can get someone placed there!” And ever since then it has been one BIG SCREW followed by another. And I suppose that is why I’m not over my anger at this new bit of shit. Because every new issue is just something stacked onto the old issues that never got properly dealt with. And it just keeps going. I can’t.... OH, they make me mad!

Volunteered to help out… they instantly hired someone to replace me in Pretrial.
Voiced significant concerns that there were no security cameras, security personnel, or security training… empty promises about “maybe in a future budget.”
THEN after promising me “as much overtime as I needed” to figure out the Law Library… they tell me (1) NO over time and (2) cut my pay.
I began to handle the Law Library fairly well… so they tell me I’m no longer allowed to deny the those with “heightened risk” for potential violence. EVEN MY MORE EXPERIENCED PREDECESSOR didn’t have to bring those guys down, dammit!
At long last, they hire someone for the Law Library and I believe that maybe, just maybe, I will again be able to resume my work for Pretrial. Instead, they hire an absolute moron and tell me repeatedly that I need to spend more time with him until he stops being a moron… because, y’know, someone that has received two solid months of training and still can’t grasp Day One shit will suddenly, magically understand it someday.
Corrections Officers repeatedly treat the Law Library like horseshit, don’t give us the support/backup we need, and outright LOSE important documents… and my boss’ exact words were, “That’s not really a big deal.”
...................... on top of all of that? Now we add this little straw onto the haystack. A visibly mentally ill woman… one whom the COs don’t even like dealing with… creates issues in the Law Library… issues enough to concern both myself and Pedro… and the response? Essentially: Too bad, so sad, nobody cares.

And so I’m mad. I’m furious. I’m pissed. Because it keeps building. And there are never solutions. There are never “eases” of any of this. Just… more. Expect more and more until somebody quits and then dump it on someone else. That’s literally the style. They told Law Library that there was no reason to give them “decent pay” or “hazard pay” so the entire staff quit… then making it my problem… I ask for help, assistance, a modicum of consideration… and I’m told repeatedly “no, do more”.... it is truly a shitty way of running something.