Day 28 Month 1 Year 2016 in BookThree: Flight Log 2016

Depression: When the day hasn’t even started… you just wake up sad.

Got dressed… in a suit… which seems to only happen for long drives/interviews any more. Honestly, didn’t even go with my best suit this time. Of course, I need this interview and if nothing else works out… I’ll need the job I’m interviewing for. But… c’mon… part time work? Yes, I desperately need the experience (which is why I’m going to the interview and legitimately going to try to get the job) but… I don’t quite see how two people will be able to survive for a year on a single part time income.

This… is the sad kind of irony. Woke up today sad. Got in the car, radio comes on: Loser by Beck. Immediately followed by “So Far Away” by Staind. Which is a sad enough song in its own right… but me today PLUS Loser PLUS “this is my life/it’s not what it was before/all these feelings I’ve shared/and these are my dreams/that I’d never lived before”.... yeaaaaaaah. Sensing a bit of a theme.

Drove in to work. Because… hooray for unpaid bullshit! Made even better by the fact that… the scanned document they wanted me to re-input into the computer? Well… whoever scanned it cut off the front half of the entire document… meaning I had to look up most of the document by hand, searching our system one inmate at a time, in order to get the information I needed to properly put all of that information into the computer. So… called in to correct someone’s mistake… the correction itself was insufficient… so I had to fix two people’s cock up. All unpaid, mind. Then… no, not off to the interview yet. I have to go to the Jail to make some deliveries directly to inmate cells. In a suit! Cuz that isn’t potentially a security risk (tie and jacket).

THEN off to the interview! These long drives are starting to suck. I mean… I can handle about 2,000 miles of driving per month… this last drive put me over that and it is just exhausting.

I think I did really well at the interview. Which, surprisingly, might not be a good thing. The job? No benefits, no health insurance, no sick leave, no vacation time.... job is twice per week with a salary of $25k a year. Oh… and no Wal Marts within a 30 minute drive so Wife wouldn’t be able to transfer… so really no benefits and no insurance. All of that leads me to say: Hell no. BUT… it has become pretty fucking clear I can’t get hired anywhere. So I really can’t be picky. At this point: experience is experience. So… this interview just complicated matters.
(1) DON’T/Can’t keep working at Omaha Jail
(2) NEED to do something with the whole “being a lawyer thing”
(3) WANT to be an Assistant County Attorney; but
(4) Giving up all health insurance?
(5) Moving to a new ridiculously tiny town for such little return?
(6) Essentially putting my wife out of a job?

And still… not even so much as a rejection letter from Waterloo or Fort Dodge. It is true that I have more than some in my life and I don’t want to belittle that… but in some fairly significant ways, it simply feels that parts of my life are nightmares.