Cease and Desist and a Tiny Break in the Rain in Everyday Ramblings

Today was the first in twelve days where we had enough of a break in the rain to actually see the sun for oh, maybe, two hours… but they were glorious hours. We are of course aware of the big storm in the east and the searing temperatures down under but in our little patch of space and time we had that blessed little break. Our mountain (Mt. Hood) looks like a dream covered in unusually heavy snow.

The cats were rolling around in a patch of bright light on the carpet this afternoon and I admit that for a few moments I joined them.

My dental appointment on Tuesday was about more planning, a different perspective and molds. Full mouth molds. I have this tiny little mouth and molds are very much not fun for me and there was a lot of strain on my upper lip and now I have this huge ugly cold sore that looks a bit like I was hit in the face.

These things take forever to heal and I admit to not enjoying this at all.

But I did make a super awesome vitamin packed smoothie for dinner that tasted good and was filling so I am doing the best I can under the circumstances.

Today was all about tuning up my mood. Yesterday in was bone chilling damp and cold and wet and I was tired and had relatively ambitious plans that involved provisioning and the gym. But my subconscious had other plans…

It was the one-year anniversary of the vigil after we had the medical team disconnect life support for my oldest sister. Even though I wasn’t able to be there in person I was there virtually the majority of the time and it affected me deeply.

I called Kes, who was there and has this horrid cold that is going around that she is struggling to recover from and after that I wasn’t good for anything. It was as if my subconscious produced a cease and desist order and I basically ended up eating too many nuts and crackers (what I had to snack on) and going to bed absurdly early with Portland: A Food Biography by Heather Arndt Anderson, which I have out from the library.

In the end I didn’t even read a page. I just was immobile until I fell asleep.

This morning I fared better, got up and went for a modest walk, came back and started working. My teacher Gary Kraftsow has a very good DVD on working with depression with two practices, one works on the physical body, it is expansive and brings up energy and the other, which works on the mood, the mental state with chanting and visualization and a more focused breathing practice.

It helped. I went for another modest walk around the track midday with one of my students and then I made my smoothie…

My niece, who really bore the brunt of my sister’s cancer and treatment took a ferry ride over to one of the islands and back in the rain after work and looked at the colorful smeared lights and allowed herself to be sad and then came home and made my sister’s spaghetti recipe for a late dinner with Miss E.

She told Kes not a day goes by she doesn’t think of her mother and I totally get that.

One of her coworkers brought her a sprig of rosemary, which was very touching.

I hope to have a pretty quiet weekend and make some progress on the local food book. It is fascinating and the author is on Facebook and I really like her.

Last updated January 23, 2016