Heather and I broke up. in Since OD is shutting down....

So, a couple of days ago I was about to clock in and Heather text me to say that she knows where she stands in my life and she doesn’t need people like that in her life. UM, what in the actual fuck?!?!?! I’m sorry but after I’m blown off enough, I’m going to stop trying!! There’s been numerous times in the past few weeks where I’ve called and text her and get ignored so I’ve stopped trying. She tops it off by saying I’m all about myself and that about sent me into a furious rage!!!! I worked 11 days straight so I could attend her fucking wedding! Every time she’s asked me to bring her cookies, ice cream, smokes, and other various things to feed her pregnancy hormones, I could have said no but I didn’t!!

It’s unbelievable how much shit I’ve done for her so for her to try and twist this shit around on me, makes me question how close we ever were and if we are going to stop being friends because I quit trying, then I’m better off. She wanted her DVD of Pitch Perfect 2 so I took it and put it under her wiper blade with a text to let her know it was there. She didn’t even bother to respond to let me know she got it but whatever.

I get that she’s pregnant and that shit makes you crazy so I’m hoping after she has her baby maybe we can figure this out because I don’t want to lose her but for now, I plan to leave it where it’s at. I always feel like I’m the one fixing shit so I’m not going to this time.

Again, I blame myself for this shit because I think people are just so used to me always calling and texting them first and then when I stop, then they are mad and it’s easier to blame me than taking their own part in why things go bad. If we don’t ever talk again, it would hurt my soul but I’m just so used to people abandoning me anyway, that it will just be another relationship I failed at.

Work is going alright. I’m off today and got up super early and I don’t get to nap because I’m doing laundry and have my oil change soon. I had to get up and go to my bank because I used my card the other day for my car wash and I was charged $8.75 when I should have only been charged $3.25. I was overcharged a couple of weeks ago at another car wash but it was only $.075 so I let it go but this time I wasn’t going to. The owner of the car wash called me back and said they are going to check the cameras and make it right with me but no matter what happens, they will make it right with me.

Dan and I have been talking in and outside of work. I didn’t get to talk to him much last night because we were so busy but I called him when I got off and he answered with, “hey” and sounded really happy that I called. We talked about work and he wants me to schedule an appointment with this place I trust and he’s going to come with me to drop it off and bring me back home so I can drive my other car to work. I’m so relieved to have someone like him to help me with this because I can’t drive 2 cars at once and my family has made no attempt at all to help me get this car looked at or fixed. It’s sad when I have to rely on anyone that’s not my family but it’s whatever.

I have to work all weekend again but I don’t have to be there until 11:30 tomorrow morning so I get to keep little one for a little bit of extra time. I hate that I only get to see her once a week but I do what I can to make the most of it. I love her more than there are stars in the sky and fish in the sea.

I’m still working on my smoking. I was going to stop a couple of days ago but the withdrawl hit me like no other and I became emotionally unstable and was too scared to go to work like that so now I’ve slowed down a lot and only smoke when I absolutely feel like I need one.