Good job with that writing streak! in shiny things

So much for getting back into the habit of writing- a habit which I really haven’t been in since the OD days, but I keep hoping. And honestly, I am afraid the only reason I’m making an entry now is that I’m at work, I have nothing to do, it’s Friday afternoon, and I am much too lazy and uninspired to create something to do. If it was Monday, maybe. Not on Friday.

The trouble with waiting so long to write, of course, is being overwhelmed by all the things I could write about. And perhaps need to write about – but by now it would take forever to catch up! And I haven’t had any major EVENTS, nothing like death or serious illness or some other major life changes. Well, I’ll just do what I always do in this case.... currents!

Current astonishment:
That in looking back to see what I’ve done for Currents in the past, I just discovered that I made this exact same entry exactly one year ago — the “I’m bored out of my mind! I’ll do ‘Currents!’” entry. Except Banner was down so I had a reason to be bored, and I don’t think it was Friday. Still, that’s weird.

Current annoyance
WELL, I am currently quite annoyed at my eye doctor. Who is an optometrist in the Mall and I’ve been going to him for eons- I guess he’s the ONLY eye doctor I’ve been to here, so, 25 years??? Although not the same doctor, there was a different one when I started, but this one’s been here a long time. And it seems like every time I go, I get annoyed and say I’m going to switch eye doctors, but a year later I end up going back. Because it’s always small annoyances and not major annoyances, and the past three years or so they’ve been doing what seemed like a good job with giving me tests and watching my issues, because I have been aware of issues for quite a few years. And I like them and they are very conveniently located and have very convenient hours, in that I can go after 5 which is nice when they dilate my eyes.

My biggest eye issue - other than basically being blind as a bat, which I have been my entire life so I’m used to that - is that for quite a long time I’ve been having flashes in my vision. Normally just if I open and shut my eyes quickly in the dark, which isn’t something you really need to do, so hasn’t interfered with daily life at all. And I did go years ago to have that checked and it was no big deal. In October 2014 I realized they were worse and I had weird things going on in the edges of my vision occasionally - like flashes, but not just in the dark. So they checked me all out and ran a bunch of tests and said I have Vitreous Detachment, which is not uncommon and also not usually a threat to your sight. It causes floaters and can be annoying, but in all likelihood won’t get worse. He suggested I take AREDS vitamins, which I have been doing although sporadically because you have to take them twice a day with food and that’s hard to remember. Also I’ve had a dark place on my retina for years that they have been watching via the great big photos they take of my eyeball which are kind of gross and kind of fascinating, and there hasn’t been any change in that either.

In my last eye exam, a year ago, he said that my vision had degenerated in my right eye and he wasn’t sure why - he couldn’t get it to be better than 20/40 with lenses. This past year I feel like I basically can’t see ANYTHING- I usually wear contacts and have had to also wear reading glasses with them for years which is maddening, and my glasses vision has also seemed less than normal - not just the 20/40 thing, but I can’t see close up well, and can’t see my computer either without shoving them all over my face until I find the one teeny spot where I can see. Sometimes I just take them off and put my nose against my book when I’m reading.

Anyhow, the fact that he didn’t address any of this in the appointment isn’t even why I’m so upset with him. One of his employees who checked my glasses to see if they have the right … settings??? whatever, if the prescription is right, I guess– said it all looked fine and apparently I’m not using the progressive lenses correctly - I’m not looking through the middle for middle vision and then kind of putting my nose in the air and looking down through the bottom for close up vision. And you know what? I’m NOT doing that, or haven’t been doing that, because… I didn’t realize I was supposed to be doing that. Because nobody explained to me when I got them that I needed to do that, and they didn’t explain that to me when I’ve been back several times to get them adjusted because I couldn’t see out of them!!! They are Progressive lenses, and I thought they basically worked like the bifocals that I had previously worked. They don’t. Maybe now that I know that, I’ll be able to see! I’m also getting new lenses although there was massive confusion about that TOO and the eye doctor scampered away without telling me what had changed. Apparently it has, and my insurance covers most of it at least even if it isn’t much of a change.

Even that is not why I’m upset. NO, it’s because he just casually mentioned that my macular degeneration hasn’t advanced and everything looks good.

My macular degeneration that I was completely unaware that I have.

I said, “What?? Macular degeneration??!!??” Not adding “Why in the fucking fuck is this the FIRST TIME I’VE HEARD THAT I HAVE MACULAR DEGENERATION????” although I should have. He was all “oh, yes, but it hasn’t changed at all in three years and it’s the kind that is likely to not cause problems and if it ever does we have excellent treatments, and blah blah blah…

And all the time I’m just thinking WHAT THE FUCK??????!!!!!!!

Because you know, if I’d KNOWN all these problems were related to macular degeneration, I would have definitely been taking those vitamins regularly, difficult to remember or NOT. It is really really bizarre, because that’s not something you just miss during the course of an exam. I know I have the vitreous detachment thing and some changes in my retina lining, but that is the first I’ve ever heard that it’s macular degeneration. Which incidentally is NOT the same thing as vitreous detachment, because of course I looked that up straight away thinking he was using different words - less scary words - for the same thing.

And if I’d known, I’d also have gone to a proper eye doctor long ago, because I think that’s something that’s a little too major to leave to the eye doctor in the mall. And I’m certainly going to a proper eye doctor NOW. After I get my new lenses I’m making an appointment with another place here, which has a bunch of eye doctors and a serious website with lots of information on the eye diseases they treat, as opposed to the eye doctor in the mall who has a funky fun website showcasing all the ridiculously expensive glasses they sell.

WELL, so apparently that’s what I needed to write about, since I’ve gone on and on and here it is nearly time to go! I wonder what the chances are of keeping it up-

Last updated April 30, 2016