Tonight was good. in Since OD is shutting down....

Work went by fast and I actually left an hour early!!! I haven’t left early once in the 12 weeks I’ve been back. I wanted to get off and hang out with my friend that’s been staying with me and because I just wanted to come home and relax. I took some food over to my brother’s house and then just hung out with here with my friend. My bestie came over for awhile too. We just all visited about life. I got my friend to watch Teen Mom with me tonight and think that was pretty dope because most guys don’t like to watch that crap.

I’m starting to feel better about this Dan thing. I remember for so long thinking that if I got to come back to where I’m at that I didn’t care if I had someone or not and just because he’s back, that shouldn’t change. He even said the other night on the phone that when he’s at work, he just focuses on work and that’s what I need to do. I honestly do have feelings for him but even if we did try again, it would end up in the same spot it did so many times before because both of us are too stubborn and at the end of the day, neither one of us want a relationship.

I know that I’m happy with my life now and I just want to embrace life and all the good things and people around me and not spend time worrying about things working out or wasting my time to figure out what I already know. I have so much in my life that makes me happy and I don’t want to spend any time worrying about bullshit that I can’t change.

It’s tough to know that I definitely don’t want to be alone forever but I am really in love with my freedom and not having to be tied down. It would be nice to have someone be there for me and look out for me but I’m a big girl and have been my own best friend for so long that it just doesn’t make sense to search for something when I already provide myself with all I need.

I’m going to bed. I’m able to sleep in tomorrow and I’m really happy about that. Goodnight.