Let's do the 2015 survey because I'm a procrastinator... in The Stuff That's Not Interesting But Is The Most Interesting Stuff I'll Write

1: What did you do in 2015 that you’d never done before?

I graduated from university and found myself in the post-college wasteland.

2: Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don’t make resolutions because the root of that word is “resolve” and I’m never resolved to do anything when the New Year comes around.

3: Did anyone close to you give birth?

OMG, this was the year of babies. My sister just gave birth. My cousins had a baby. My good friend Katie had a baby. I’m sure there were more but after those three I just tuned the fuck out and wondered why everyone else but me was having so much sex.

4: Did anyone close to you die?

No, but my grandfather is really close to death and I just wish he’d pass on already.

5: What countries did you visit?

I stayed in the US all year… hopefully that’ll change this year.

6: What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?

I suppose I’d like my social life back, but that’s something that’s not real.

7: What dates from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

That weekend I had the amazing threesome with David because I’d been pining after him for three long years. Amazing sex. Mmmmm

8: What was your biggest achievements of the year?

I fucking graduated, I’m not sure people really see how big a deal that was. It was a road I started several years ago. However, I honestly feel like it’s not real. It hasn’t afforded me any opportunities that I didn’t have before.... unless this whole France thing turns out well.

9: What was your biggest failure?

My legal entanglements were not exactly shining examples of my ability to handle a situation.

10: Did you suffer illness or injury?

See the previous question.

11: What was the best thing you bought?

The best “thing”.... I don’t really believe that “things” are awesome or should be ranked, but I am grateful to have a new, functional computer.

12: Whose behaviour merited celebration?

Oh God, don’t make me judge others.

13: Whose behaviour made you appalled?

I was absolutely appalled by the acts of violence that were perpetrated and the speculation, xenophobic bigotry and paranoia that creeped up. I love Islam and my Muslim brothers and sisters and absolutely rage at people who vilify that religion.

14: Where did most of your money go?

Legal fees.

15: What did you get really, really, really excited about?

I don’t get excited any longer. I suppose that’s what I would like to have in 16 that I didn’t have at 15, I’d like to get excited again.

16: What song will always remind you of 2015?

There are quite a few, in fact, this question could be an entry in and of itself.

Let’s start with Janet’s No Sleeep because it was sooooo perfect. A slow jam that felt like slow love.

Vanessa Carlton’s House of Seven Swords was an amazing song that seemed to totally encapsulate my year. It makes me so liquid.

Then there was One Direction’s What A Feeling. I know how it seems silly, but I’ve always enjoyed their music but this song has such a Fleetwood Mac vibe to it that I just love putting it on, closing my eyes and sinking deep.

Troye Sivan’s Wild probably fueled a lot of my depression during 2015 because it’s so good and makes me ache so much. Just listen to it and don’t yearn, I dare you. By the way, the whole album is actually FUCKING AMAZING.

Finally, there’s Ghosttown by Madonna. The whole Rebel Heart album was absolutely incredible and I could’ve put a whole bunch of tracks from that album, but Ghosttown is the best thing she’s put out in 10 years. I didn’t put the actual music video because I think it distracts from the beauty of the song itself.

17: Compared to this time last year, are you:
a-happier or sadder?

Totally more sad, but it’s only temporary.

b-thinner or fatter?

I’m not fatter but I’m heavier because I’ve put on muscle.

c-richer or poorer?

I didn’t think I could get poorer than college-student-poor, but I’m always finding ways of breaking expectations.

18: What do you wish you’d done more of?

I wish I’d gone out with people more.

19: What do you wish you’d done less of?

Spend time with my mother.

20: How did you spend Christmas?

I was alone at home watching Oz.

21: Did you fall in love in 2015?

No, thank God.

22: What was your favourite TV program?

I didn’t really start watching tv until the end of the year, but that How To Get Away With Murder show is pretty nifty.

23: Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Of course I have, I’ve met more people.

24: What was the best book you read?

I read the autobiography of the lead singer of Pansy Division, Deflowered: My Life in Pansy Division. It was so awesome, but more on that in a moment....

25: What was your greatest musical discovery?

There are two artists that go here.

I was a huge fan of Hunx & His Punx, and the lead singer, Seth Bogart is going solo with his own material. This is utterly bizarre and not for those who don’t have a sense of humor.... Trust me, this is weird. Strangely, it’s also the least weird he’s ever been…

Here’s a classic Hunx song so you can see the difference.... and there is. Just go with it.

I also rediscovered Pansy Division. I’d forgotten how ashamed I felt when I was listening to their music in the 90s because it was so unapologetic.

But this was by far my favorite because I finally had some friends that actually said something similar to this. The song starts around 5:45 so just skip ahead to that.

26: What did you want and get?

Ummm nothing comes to mind.

27: What did you want and not get?

Once again, nothing comes to mind.

28: What was your favourite film of this year?

I saw several movies that I was absolutely obsessed with.

The Way He Looks is a Brazilian movie and one of the sweetest movies I’ve ever seen. It just makes you happy, I don’t know how to explain it.

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow? is a fascinating Taiwanese film because not too many films from that region deal with homosexuality without a heavy dose of tragedy. This movie is beautiful, uplifting and so so sweet. It’s another of the “makes you happy for no reason” movies. All of the trailers are pretty terrible, in fact most excise the gay plot completely from the trailer, but this is the best one… it’s just a shame it cuts out the hot boyfriend.

I finally got to see Ferzan Özpetek’s Loose Cannons. I’ve loved all of his movies and this one was more lighthearted and farcical than he usually does, it was great. Find it, watch it, it’s got a great plot.

I also finally saw From Beginning To End. I had heard much about this Brazilian film, mainly because of its subject matter. Anyone I talked to about the movie was immediately repulsed that I would watch it, but it’s quite fascinating and beautifully told. The mother has such warmth and understanding that I felt like I understood with her.

I watched Tell No One, an hysterical Italian film. I really loved the comedy of Italian films, they get so much right and have excellent broad humor.

I also watched a Spanish film called Queens. I really wish the US would make something like that, it was so well done and pretty fucking funny, to boot.

But my absolute favorite movie I saw this year was a film from 1987 called Maurice. It’s like the gay Jane Austen movie I never knew I wanted, even though it’s not really at all like Jane Austen, but it’s so romantic and takes such a wonderful approach to the time-period. In the 80s, gay movies always had someone dying of AIDS or getting beaten to death or ending up depressed and alone… but Maurice ends up happy! It’s revelatory! I can’t stop watching it because it’s so wonderful and sweeping and Hugh Grant is incredible in it. If you can find a copy, watch it. It’s long because it takes a long time to develop and explore exactly how gay men were dealt with in the early 20th century. There’s no way to describe it. I’m trying to find it on DVD but they’re like $200 a copy because it’s out of print.

So I’m sure most of you noticed that I only posted foreign gay-themed films. That’s because this year I figured out that Hollywood has nothing for me. I did go see (and enjoy) The Avengers, Ant-Man, and Mockingjay, but the only blockbuster I truly enjoyed and had to see multiple times was Spectre. Romantic comedies aren’t romantic at all any longer, and even if they were, I can no longer switch out one of the characters for myself. That was fine in the 90s when we were still struggling for equality, but it’s just nonsensical now. I loved horror movies but they haven’t been scary for over 10 years now. I was completely disgusted with the success of that Straight Outta Compton movie. Gone are the days when rock and roll/hip-hop lifestyle movies were supposed to be cautionary, now it is an exultation. I found the whole thing abhorrent. There is nothing for me. So I had to look elsewhere around the world to see myself represented, relationships with which I can identify, characters that seem like my friends. I pretty much avoid Hollywood now, I mean, I still haven’t even seen the new Star Wars.

29: Has anything made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Seeing my brothers again helped me shift my focus away from dreams and more toward plans.

30: How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2015?

“Won’t accept I’m a 30-something”

31: What kept you sane?

Who says I stayed sane?

32: Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Alexis Marcelo can hit it whenever he wants.

33: What political issue stirred you the most?

I didn’t give a shit about anything.

34: Who did you miss?

I missed all the people I left behind in SoCal.

35: Quote a song lyric that sums up your year?

“So my friend is continuing
On a destructive road
His life passes before him like an
Unfortunate circumstance
He and his friend are at odds
And he is not winning…
Why does someone always have to win?
He says it matters…
Strange things do follow when you love someone
So you put that someone in exile
How about I call you Beloved Exile…“

Mabel Normand by Stevie Nicks

Welcome to 2016.... let’s fuck this shit up.