panic attack progression in poetry

I will not be ruled by fear.
When I am I’m one-tenth of myself.
I’ll be ruled by joy even if there are those
who’d get more joy of their own from my fear.
And I deserve better than this
I deserve better than this and
it breaks my heart when people who
are supposed to love me tell me I
do not deserve better than this
I deserve better than this.
Fear is the mind-killer
fear is the little death
fear allows others to hurt me
fear lets them revel in
seeing me at less than my best
and I deserve better than this.
I deserve better than this.
Abuse is not intervention
no matter the espoused intention
I deserve better than this.
I deserve better than this.