Worth it <3 in The Day To Day Ramblings

I knew this day was coming. From the day she was born and I hooked up to that pump, I knew some day this day would come. When she was tiny and in the NICU, today felt a lifetime away. In many ways, it was. She and I are not the same people we were 16 months ago. When she was tiny, not gaining weight, when my supply dipped, when I went back to work, when I got sick, when we traveled by plane and train and car, when she hit a year, when everyone around me transitioned to cow’s milk…I feel like I’ve pumped through it all. I brought that damn thing everywhere with me, through airport security and to concerts, to weddings and to funerals, across the country and back again, all to give my little girl the best thing I’ve got. The act of pumping was exhausting, intense, draining (literally), empowering, magical, enlightening and transformative. I’ve been done pumping for over two months but tonight…officially…she had her last bottle of my milk. She’s bigger now, stronger now, eating ‘real’ food great, drinking other milk…so she’s ready. And, I suppose, I’m ready as I’ll ever be. As I rocked her and read tonight, I kissed her sweet head, thinking back on the long road we took together to get here, tears running down my cheeks. As she slipped off to dreamland, her belly full of milk I made for her with every ounce of me that I could possibly give, I knew I’d made the right choice sticking with it for as long as I did. As I placed her soft, sleeping body in her crib, I leaned down close to her face, kissed her sweet cheeks, brushed her hair out of her eyes and whispered to her…“It was worth it. It was all worth it. YOU are worth it all. I love you.” <3