hello from the other side in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.

and again. copied from my fb:

‘hello from the other side..........yeah see this is one reason but not the main reason i don’t listen to music much anymore. is cause i feel.things. [i was about to be all redundant and put ‘feel feelings’]. [right and that’s a bad thing? it is when the things hurt. i’m the opposite of the song lyric that goes ‘i’d rather hurt than feel nothing at all’. i’d rather feel nothing than hurt]. ok so what i’m getting at is.......i um. i was listening to that song [‘hello’ by adele] the other day and i thought about Pat.as i often do. and something about how if he was still here i wouldn’t be in mourning [er well obviously]. for this damn long. i didn’t know that it could take this long. not that that’s bad or anything. i’m just like wow. and i wouldn’t feel like this. i wouldn’t feel this hurt. well but maybe i would just.not by that. i might still be just as hurt. but he would’ve been here to talk to about.things. well er he still is just not in that way. um i feel like there was more to this which there probably was.’

that’s one reason i drink so much or i want to. is so i won’t feel.things.