Wednesday afternoon in New Diary

Well I am back. For some reason I feel the urge to write today. Chocolatechip went shopping this morning. She went on the social service van to the Dollar General Store. She bought a lot of cleaning supplies. She went to K Mart and bought me a box of cookies for a Christmas present. I love it. She stopped in when she came home and we had a nice long talk.

She was telling me about a new rule Connie has. From now on when we go shopping on the van we have to make arrangements for somebody to bring down a cart. She said Connie is too busy to wait . This will be hard for me because I do not know anyone to call. I don’t think anyone will bring down a cart for me if I did call.

Chocolatechip asked me about my worker. I was telling her about some of the stuff she told me. She said worker sounds very quirky. I said yes she is. I said she likes tattoos. Chocolatechip said she is not a fan of tattoos. I said neither am I She asked if I ever talked about my former life. I said yes I did. I said I talked to her about being a former crossdresser and some of the stuff I went through because of it.

We had a good conversation while she was here. She said she might have to go out again. Chocolatechip wants to go to Wal Mart this afternoon. She said she wants to pick up something for somebody . It all depends if Connie is busy. If Connie is busy and cannot take her she will not go. I kind of hope she doesn’t go out again.

We also talked about her sister Elaine. Elaine is coming up this Sunday. She said Elaine called her and up the time. Instead of one she is coming up at 11. Elaine changed the time because she decided to attend Cathleen’s Christmas party. She will stay for two hours. We were wondering if that would be enough time to eat at Eat n Park and go shopping at Wal Mart. Chocolatechip said we will go eat first and then shopping that way we wont have to rush. If there is not enough time for Wal Mart then we will not go.

I had to get out my walker this morning. My left knee was hurting like crazy despite taking an Ibuprofen. I would stand up and then it hurt like a son of a b for a while. I used the walker to put my weight on it so I could safe the wear and tear of my knee. Hate using a walker and I seldom use it only when the arthritis gets really bad and it was bad again today.

We are having a nice day. It is sunny and warm here in Weirton. I can live wit this . But weather is going to get cold this weekend. I like warm weather. If I had had the money when I was younger I would have moved to Florida where it is warm all year round. When I was younger I always wanted to move away from West Virginia but things never worked out that way. I guess now that I’m older I am pretty much content where I live. I figure I am set up pretty good here and don’t want to rock the boat.

Haven’t started reading my new book yet. Just haven’t been in the reading mood. I will get to that book when the mood hits me. I always finish reading the books I buy even if I don’t like them. Even the ones I don’t like I always find something I can out of them and this one will be no exception. I will get around to reading it and will finish it.

Damn my knee hurts this morning. Hips and knees have been hurting all morning. Being in pain is not fun. I hate having arthritis. Miss not being able t o walk. I used to walk all over town. Used to walk down to the Diner which is about a mile from where I live almost every morning and have breakfast. Used to from the Diner all the way up to Pennsylvania avenue by the old steel mill which is about another mile. Then when I had money I would get a pass to the Millsap Community Center. I would work out there for a couple of hours. They have a nice indoor pool and I would go do laps in the pool for an hour or so.

I used to exercise a lot and keep busy. I was feeling great. I was not on any psychiatric meds nor was I seeing a therapist My weight was down to 178. Then I got this arthritis very bad. I stopped walking and eventually gained all my weight back. Now all I do is sit in my apartment read and watch tv No wonder I get depressed at times.

I’m not complaining. I really don’t like leaving my apartment. I strongly dislike being around a lot of people. I get very anxious think people are laughing at me or talking about me. I prefer the company of my fiancé and that is fine with me. Looking back l never was good in social settings always ended up making myself look foolish or saying something inappropriate If truth were told I am kind of glad that I no longer have to worry about it There is no pressure for me to participate in any social setting.

Well that is about it for now. More later