December 2nd through 4th in 2015

Before I get any further, I want to mention something briefly. It was a small thing, it shouldn’t bother me. It really shouldn’t. But it does and it is.
Last night, on Tinder, I superliked a girl. She was a former Disney worker. Loved acting. Loved performing. Lived relatively nearby. We talked. We didn’t get very far, but we talked about fun stuff and things that we had in common. We talked about dance, and our liking of it, we talked about performance. She worked at Disney, and I asked if she knew two people that I knew there. This morning, she was gone from my contacts. Just . . . gone. Now, maybe there are good reasons. Maybe there are great reasons I don’t know about. Maybe she knew and hated Amanda and Jenny. Maybe she was scared off by Tinder. Maybe she hit a wrong button. I don’t know. I can’t know. I’ll never know. But right now, I just feel pissed off and inadequate. Again. I keep checking my phone to see if maybe, somehow, there was a mistake. Maybe, somehow, I missed her name or account somewhere. But I know it’s not the case. Somehow, a Japanese Disney Princess was giving me a little hope in a pretty miserable spell of life. Now, without that stupid and shallow fantasy, I’m even worse off. I didn’t even really have her. I wasn’t close. More than likely we’d have run out of things to say and conversation would have died off in a few days. But that certain and outright rejection. It’s just not helpful at the moment.
December second I ended up going home early. Sent home by the principal. There was a meeting that he said would be long, dull, and in Japanese, and that I should just go home and rest. I was quite obviously dying in my chair. I went home. Man was that ever welcome. I took medicine that didn’t do a lot. I probably passed the night in junk food, cigarettes, and Civ III. Somehow the idea of nicotine helping a headache came back to me without me remembering that that’s for migraines. Yet the fact that I had a migraine wouldn’t occur to me until Thursday.
Thursday, the third, I went to the BOE, and then off to Shiraogawa. I did receive some good news there. It turns out that when I was told that the rural schools would be closing “next year”, it meant next school year. Which made a lot more sense. The thought of these schools closing in this grey and bitter winter just seems unfair. Watching them fade out with the cherry blossoms will make it a bit more alright. Less of a loss. Or, rather, a better time to die. Going out with the cherries.
I messaged Kyoko telling her that I’d go to tea ceremony, then backed out because I felt sick. I told her if I didn’t feel better tomorrow (Today, Friday), I’d go in. She said I should go in then. I did. Diagnosis migraine. So, I’m on some meds for that now. I also am annoyed because I don’t want to be smoking, but the nicotine helps the migraines. It’s frustrating as all get out because I do NOT want to make a habit of this, but I’m in pretty constant pain and discomfort. I’m sure being constantly frozen isn’t helping. I’ve got long underwear, regular underwear, an undershirt, shirt, pants, athletic socks, and a sports coat on, but I’m still cold. Japanese people insist on keeping windows open in the winter. However, no sooner had I written that, then, miraculously, everybody closed their windows. However, they lifted the blinds hoping that some of the meager light would warm the room, not realizing that the windows are venting more heat than they’re taking in. Oh well.
The plan is to go to Sendai today and to pick up that treadmill. And a few sweater vests. Possibly sweaters. I’m fine for my indoor wear. That velour outfit works nicely. It’s just in class where there’s a problem. Possibly because we’re not allowed to wear gloves or hats.
This weekend is the Izumi event. I’ll write about that when it happens.
Today’s been alright. My disappointment this morning has been somewhat mitigated by slightly recovering health, a decent lunch, and two (soon to be three) fun classes. The difficulty remains that my sole joy is work, and that I’m not here nearly enough. I’m going to buy that treadmill today, so, let’s see what happens in that department. Hopefully that’ll help. I’ve also decided that, as I can’t smoke this weekend, I’ll indulge today to kick the last of the migraine and hope for the best.