On Lowering Nerdly Expectations. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.

I remember when I saw Star Trek: The Star Trek back in 2009. (Or Star Trek XI, whatever.) A friend (who happened to be into Star Wars) said to me, “This is the best Star Wars film since Return of the Jedi.” It’s a pretty good demo reel of how JJ Abrams can make meaningless, entertaining fluff.

I have no attachment to Star Wars, I’m just a nerd. If JJ does to Force Awakens what he did to Star Trek, it’ll seem glossy and pretty on the surface but then you’ll realize “Wait, this entire movie was bullshit.” Trekkies get flack for being critical of JJ Trek, but the fact is: We got Phantom Menaced. We got Prequelled. We got “it’s so dense” and “it’s like poetry it rhymes.” (x)

Oh, absolutely Star Trek XI > Phantom Menace by light-years. But consider: How many movies with flashy lightsabers and “I’ve got a bad feeling about this” and jedi/sith themes and stormtroomers and doomsday devices and gay robots and useless bounty hunters before you realize “Wait, that was flashy and fun, but the plot makes no sense and seemed jammed full of references for the dim-witted masses.”

From one hardcore Trekkie to all the Warsies out there: I do hope you get an original story in Episode VII. (Also. Just call him Jar Jar Abrams to lower your expectations.)