Update... in All of Me

I am a crazy person, by no stretch of the imagination. People say to me several times daily: “you’re crazy.” They laugh. I am actually crazy, but I’m funny too. I’m learning to embrace my Bipolar diagnosis and all of its weird little gifts . Whoa, can we italicize here? I love that! I always get depressed because we can’t italicize on facebook. I am going to italicize the hell out of this diary.

I work nights now, P.S. I’m the night social worker here. In some wonderfully unexpected phenomen, working nights has transformed my life for the better. I don’t sleep much, however, I have been working out. I have not been frequenting bars as I did before. Part of this is because I am outgrowing it, but the other contributing factor is that I am fucking tired when I get off work. I go home, walk the dogs to the park, let them run, sometimes we hike a little bit. Then I sleep a little, wake up naturally because…sunlight…and go to an exercise class. I have recently discovered pole dancing for fitness. It is the most fun thing ever. It’s helping my self-esteem too. I feel strong and capable. Yoga is my other new discovery- I super love Yoga. I feel like I am moving my energy in a way that is just so…serene. Also, Barre!So, barre class is the single most difficult thing I have ever done. Absolutely, so difficult. I completely made a fool of myself, however, I am going back Wednesday, because…fitness! I actually felt amazing* after barre class. I was walking on clouds all night at work.

Work…work is…incredible. I am part of something that blows my mind. I am finding solutions to problems that I never knew existed. I am taking care of myself.

Men…honestly, I have no time for them. I almost think I would be missing out on a lot of life if I got into a relationship. In four months it will be four years since I have been single, but sometimes the wounds from my relationship still are fresh. I told you at the beginning of this entry. Let me reiterate. I am a crazy person.

I don’t know. This update should be longer but, there is time for more later. I am adding maintaining this diary to my self-improvement plan. There will be barre, pole dancing, hiking, yoga, and this journal.

Goodnight, lovelies!

Oh, I was pleased to discover, when I re-read my old entries, that I am not dealing with the same issues I was years ago. I do still struggle with depression, insecurities, general craziness, etc. However, I have a kickass job now and I don’t care about men or relationships anymore. I am in a much better place.

Ok, goodnight, for real this time!

Last updated May 10, 2017