like follow subscribe in poetry

I choose to imagine what it would be like
if we had to file our internet unfriendings
with some official branch of the government.
Get a notary co-signing in on that,
get a big red rubber stamp.
Get a justice of the peace
I would get so amped
I would love it.

Mandatory binding arbitration.
A mute-or-ignore cooling-off period.
Custody of your shared friends.
Visitation rights.
FRIEND COURT.
Can I be the judge on television’s FRIEND COURT?
Can I be the Doug Lwellyn character who interviews
the aggrieved parties at the end of FRIEND COURT?
Can I at least be the bailiff on FRIEND COURT?

I want legislation about internet unfriendings
I want presidential debates where the candidates
are grilled about the state of their unfriendings
“Senator, did you really unfriend Mary Sue Poots
because she likes your rival football team?
What are you a goddamned five year old?”
I’d also like a lot more mild swearing
in our debate formats but that’s a digression.

I choose to imagine what it would be like
if we had to file our internet unfriendings
mostly because it would be the most
hilarious drama bomb imaginable.
Come on, let’s make facebook work for US for once.
Let’s start FRIEND COURT.