Live and Not So Live Tweeting in Book Two: The Fifteenth Year of the Third Millennium of the Common Era

Another attempt at the live-ish tweeting. But first, some background from last night because this is weird and worth sharing:

Last night while waiting for Wife to get home from work (after 6 hours of me driving)… my right eye was giving me crap something awful! It felt like there was a twig in there and I kept trying to flush with Visine but nothing came out. When Wife got home, she gasped and had me look in the mirror. My sclera was somewhat inflamed and misshapen. She honestly said that it was so horrifying and gross that she couldn’t look at me. I don’t blame her but… (sarcasm) super. Haven’t seen her in 3 days, excited to see my wife and… nope… she can’t be in the same room as my now weird looking eye. :/ I did some research and as best as I can tell it is Allergy-Induced Sclera Conjunctivitis. I used some RX eye drops for Pink Eye and am hoping that resolves the issue.

0934
If you honestly name your child Jack Hammers; I don’t even blame the guy for becoming a felon. That is a hard thing to do to a kid and I can understand anger, resentment, and criminal behavior!

0945
:sigh: Standing in court yelling numbers at the judge… after my interview yesterday, this whole thing seems even more pointless and depressing. This isn’t giving me sufficient court experience to get a job anywhere else. This isn’t challenging my Litigation Skills. I’m in court saying “Your Honor, we found a score of X” watching as the judge clearly doesn’t give a shit what I say. This isn’t helping me get a proper job.

1018
Wow! We had a lot of people in court this morning and, very uncommon, 39% of the defendants were female. Even worse? 89% of the female defendants were under the age of 25. ALL of the female defendants were there due to assisting their boyfriend’s crime or trying to hide their boyfriend after the fact. And, no joke, all of the female defendants were genuinely attractive. From the pixie-sprite little 95 lb fresh faced 18 year old to her (sadly, no joke) 36 year old mother… all of the defendants were in good shape, no signs of drug use or homelessness… just… women who submitted to shitty men. And it frustrates me. For a number of reasons. I believe in strong women. I love strong women. Most of the women in my family can be said to be strong women and, before Omaha destroyed my wife, Wife was a strong woman. And a strong woman doesn’t cover or assist her boyfriend’s shitty behavior. And, call me sexist, but… an attractive woman needs to be a strong woman! Too many people are going to approach an attractive woman with flattery or deviousness and want something from her or want to take something from her… and she needs to be strong, independent, and smart. So… yeah… court’s demographics today kind of made me a little sad.

1105
Grumph! We signed our 6 month lease today. Grumph! I realize it is important. If neither of the jobs I interview for are going to offer me a job… we need some place to live! And with Wife turning down the Ames gig… we need to extend our stay in Omaha a bit more. But.... grumph. We’ve been here too long. Not just because Wife hates it; but because I’m sick of this place. We were supposed to be here for no more than 3.5 years. We’ve exceeded that. We’re about to well exceed that. And it sucks.

1244
HA! Riddle me this! I got a text from my boss’ boss to find out when I would be in the Law Library today and tomorrow. Why? Because they are bringing in an auditor. An auditor, in this case, is a person that verifies whether we are using our Grant Money properly. My boss(es) want me to answer questions for the auditor about the Law Library. Really? You want me to answer questions about something I’ve only just been thrust into taking care of because you won’t hire anyone new? I assume my superiors will also be in attendance to make certain I don’t throw them under the bus… otherwise… they should expect some tire marks on their back!

1330
Finally made it into the law library. And what to my saddening eye did appear; but a list of housing units that have not been here. 21 to be exact. Each housing unit requiring a full hour of time in the law library… figure about fifteen minutes on either side of that hour for COs to collect and that is 1.5 hours per housing unit (31.5 hours). This on top of RAP interviews I need to do and my court appearances. So, truly Wednesday and Thursday requires me to put in no less than… 18 hour days. Not going to happen. Seriously… this is horse shit having one person covering for three people… especially when that one person (Hi!) needs to be gone certain days to interview. Busts my 4.5 available work days down to 2.5 and kills everything!

1430
Had the QnA with the Auditor. He is astonished and a little dismayed that I am being used in the Law Library considering the role is one that can and should be filled by a lesser educated (if better paid) Corrections Officer with training in handling inmates. Since the QnA went past 2:00; I can’t call a housing unit down because that would mean they’d be here over counts… so I’m just doing paperwork. One of the many endless tasks. Seriously. If I don’t get Keokuk or Des Moines? I don’t know what I’m going to do. Because honestly… I can not keep this up for the next two months. It will not work to have me pulling 40+ weeks like this!

1500
Count is called and my boss calls me. He’s confused by certain rules and protocols in the Law Library and hopes that I could help him out. Are you kidding me?! I have no clue what I’m doing here. I was dumped here as an emergency bandaid in hopes that I could keep the place from falling apart. Now you want me to help you understand nuanced policy? I was never ever told nuanced policy! Ugh! SO… we have to have a meeting tomorrow. Because trying to keep all of these damned plates spinning wasn’t enough to do.

1600
First call to the housing units for the day and of the 3 inmates that I could call down; one of them is a trick. We have a gentleman who is House Alone Rec Alone (HARA).... and this is from one of the Maximum Security Wings… so to get further restrictions from there takes some work. Anyway… nobody had ever told me what to do for a HARA. SO many things that nobody has ever told me how to do in this job. So, I improvised erring on caution. HARA can’t come down; it would be too disruptive. The whole jail shuts down for Max Sec movement as it is… HARA Max Sec would be a nightmare. And if anybody has a problem with it- fuck ‘em. Train me, give me assistance!

1630
Oh, Max 2 guys… regulars. With the regular issues. “If the police took my cell phone during investigation; how come they didn’t publish all of my text messages?” Only messages pertinent to the case will be published for court purposes. Only those messages of importance to the case will be turned over for trial purposes. “No, man. The truth is in those text messages. They’re hiding shit.” (Internally: Okay. There’s nothing I can do. Keep coming here and keep asking the same questions, you’ll get the same answers. I understand it can be frustrating but… honestly… one of the oldest definitions for insanity is performing the same actions expecting different results.)
Plus… poor old dude the 2nd. Granted, his shit got fucked. His house was stormed by SWAT and he’s pissed. They found heaps of Meth. So.. yeah, he got sent up the river. But he is profoundly confident that he can get his conviction overturned by proving excessive force was used. Y’know… maybe you can. But honestly… the amounts we’re talking about? SWAT is standard. If you are a heavy dealer… especially of meth … yeah, that is going to happen. Hell, I’ve seen a heavy Child Porn trafficker get SWAT brought down on him at 6:30 am. Add drugs to the mix, it gets a lot more serious around here.

1723
And this is why the job is far more bullshit than my bosses expect. When I call at 1700 to have inmates returned to their housing unit, it is because I need to get the next housing unit processed before trays. When it takes you twenty bloody minutes (or more) to collect two friggin inmates… you’re putting me in a pinch. Because now I have to make the decision to add another hour to my work day or just ignore the work. As we well know, I can’t simply ignore the work. So instead of going home around 1900 tonight it looks like I’ll be closer to 2000. Just in case, I’ll call the housing unit and double check how screwed up it would be but honestly… twenty minutes into a 30 minute dinner? I can’t imagine that would be seen as a positive thing.

1754
Yeah… it wasn’t a good idea to ask a question to which I already knew the answer. Oh well. In the time that passed I tried to do some of my extra inmate interviews. That, too, was less successful than I would have desired. One interview I completed. One interview, the inmate had been transferred to a different housing unit and then had been sent to the Kitchen to help with tray service. I’ll try him again later tonight (ah, later tonight… that thing that always happens… working later into the night than anticipated). I tried one of the females, then, and she was no longer in the correctional facility at all. What? So… how do I interview a woman for Corrections Programs if she is no longer housed in this facility? I’m confused! And now… I wait. I wait until roughly 1845 so they can finish tray service. Then call up a housing unit. Then when that is finished, try to track down these other interviews.

I am already thinking how it would be wonderful if I could arrive home to some fantasy existence. Walk in, dinner ready and a cocktail poured. My wife either willing to give me a massage or maybe even a quick lip-to-lip kiss. Snuggle in for some quick TV watching and a nice night of sleep. Of course that would never happen. The alternative fantasy would be to come home and play video games, lol. But what will happen… is come home, make dinner for Wife and I (even though she has the day off)… crash on a futon because I’m so tired and body-sore… catch up on FaceOff and Agents of SHIELD… then try to go to bed enough after Wife does that maybe my snoring won’t bother her.

Yes… something that has been pestering me lately… I can’t get a backrub from my wife. I can’t scoop her up into my arms and kiss her. But… frankly, those are not things that changed in Omaha. Those things have always been like that. And I chose this woman in spite of those things. But days like this… it would just make things a lot simpler if I was allowed to be romantic (either acting as romantic or requesting romantic behavior).

One positive to the interminable waiting this job requires is that I have begun carving a healthy chunk out of my back PB reading. Now, it would be unfair to suggest I was anywhere close caught up… but being able to read up to 20 entries per shift has certainly been helpful.

Here’s a crazy thought: Wife and I never had a honeymoon. Hell, we’ve never even had a vacation together- not really. We’ve done two or three day trips to see family, week long family reunions… but SHE and I have never gone away together. And if I do have to work this Law Library job solo for the next 6 months… I can see that netting a sizeable enough pot to justify a trip. And frankly? If I don’t have a job in the next six months… and if I’ve had to work here 40+ hours a week for 7 months? A long trip will be just the ticket!

1840
Call to Housing Unit 5. C shift guys are great. They know they are working the evening but they aren’t working 3rd shift. It is that time from 3 pm to 1 am; so they’re more chill. Hopefully, this will go well and this will go quickly. I still have interviews to try and finish up since so many people had issues. Then HOME… until I have to be right back here at 9 am.

1900
Dude? It’s been twenty minutes. You need to round up 4 blokes and walk them to the Law Library. I’m increasingly concerned as to why they aren’t here. My ears are certainly perked to hear for any codes. Or… maybe I get lucky. Maybe all 4 of these chaps will refuse to come down to the Law Library and I can get some more actual work done! Either way… information would be extremely valuable at this point. TELL ME what is going on, what the delay is. If you aren’t going to bring anyone down… let me know. Because… if I leave to do interviews… and then inmates show up… that could be a right mess! But if I stay here for the next 45 minutes with nary a guest… I’ll have wasted even more precious time.

2025
One thing I’ll say… I don’t care how you feel about drugs. I don’t care how you feel about the mentally ill. Drugs will land you in prison. Mentally ill people get sent to prison. It sucks but that is the way it is. Here’s something I can’t stress enough though… if you are mentally challenged in that your IQ is below 80 (note… 80, that isn’t on a disability level yet).... but if you are already slow, struggling with mental connections, etc.... DON’T DO DRUGS. Yes… even marijuana. The brain is a valuable, important organ that needs to be nurtured, cultivated, and given license to grow. If you’re already having a hard time with things like reading and writing… I’m sorry, son, but drugs are the fastest way to keep yourself from ever amounting to anything.
That came about from dealing with a young man who could barely write his own name at 19 who was trying to figure out the most weed he could have on his person while getting the least punishment. All I kept thinking was… “Don’t smoke weed. You don’t have enough strong synapses left to deal with it!”
For now… I am going to see if I can quickly take care of some more interviews since the Housing Unit just left!!

2100
Finally out. 3 Housing Units Completed and I finished half the interviews. So I have 18 housing units left tomorrow… AND Interviews… AND meetings… AND… yeah. If I had a full 5-day work week from 9 am to 9 pm… this wouldn’t be an issue. But… my interviews… and the fact that I’m still actually working my Pretrial Shifts? Dangnabbit, folks, lets get someone fucking on this!