How Did I Get In Trouble? in meh...

Doubt if I am, but I’m going to hear another speech about how I need to step back and let my son grow up. I think I have in a lot of ways backed off, but there are somethings that I know that he’s not ready for just simply being around him.

So today was a rescheduled meeting regarding my son’s IEP (education plan).

The background of my son’s schooling has been hard. Some could say I’m making excuses, but some don’t know the story of the struggle I’ve had to keep my son in school. He is a senior in high school. My daughter had a baby as a sophmore and dropped out the next year. Her life is hard, but she is and has always been a bit more independent. I’ve felt my son has lacked the attention he deserves and I’ve felt as if I’m the only one who has ever loved him and not pushed him into being something others want him to be.

I have been stuck in fix it mode ever since I realized I have no one to depend on. That in turn made me become to my kids what I never had. I didn’t have a support system. Even though I’m only one person, I have tried to be a support to my children.

Toward the end of the meeting, I’m almost in tears. I sense my son’s frustration. I didn’t speak for him since I’ve been told that I did that too much.

I will have to finish this later. I’m kind of in my feelings now.
Then again, I’ve written about this before. My life, their lives, all tie in together into a big congealed vat of stuff.

::sigh::

Kindest regards…