so many centaurs in poetry

  • Oct. 19, 2015, 11:04 p.m.
  • |
  • Public

Centaurs! We got centaurs!
We got two centaurs in a man costume.
We got two centaurs discussing how My Little Pony reinforces stereotypes.
We got two centaurs bullying a jockey!
You guys won’t believe how much we’ve got centaurs.

Centaurs, we got huge deals on centaurs!
We got four men in a “guy riding a centaur” costume.
We got twelve men dressed as four centaurs stitched together
in series ass-to-mouth as The Human Centaurpede.
We got centaur in a chariot powered by six enraged humans.
We have entirely too many centaurs,
we are passing the savings onto you!

You need centaurs? You are in luck for the centaurs.
We got a centaur still eating oats from a bag on his face because he’s really lazy.
He walks to up a McDonalds drive-thru, they strap it right on him.
We got five centaurs in a park tossing sneakers at a rod in a pit,
not because it’s a real game, just to mess with our perceptions.
We got a centaur claiming that he doesn’t always drink beer but when he does, he drinks Dos Equus.
We got a mad scientist whose only concern is fusing himself to a horse,
he’s totally self-centaured.
All these centaurs, wholesale, every hoof must go.

We have so many centaurs, priced to move!
Discounts on the ones with dinged up hooves!
We have The Trojan Centaur.
When they check the centaur’s horse body assuming it’s full of warriors
they’re shocked to find out that it’s empty
then our troops come pouring out the man part.
We guarantee at least fifty centaurs per statue.
We stuff ‘em in like clowns!
Unicorn centaurs!
Unibrowed centaurs!
Pegasus centaurs!
Come on down and help us get rid of these centaurs!
There’s poop EVERYWHERE.


Last updated October 22, 2015


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