I set fire to the rain ... in All of Me

I wake up every two hours ,gasping for air ,Choking on air -not really sure How to describe it .

My dad had a stroke in June .it was devastating.he went to rehab and he is doing better now ,but my greatest fear was realized .my parents are not immortal.

I have nightmares about anything and everything -the sexual assault I experienced in October ,my dad falling ,Terrence,kel ,my dogs dying …my cats running away or dying....

I never used to mind sleeping alone .now I am scared ....scared of my own thoughts.

Got an apology text from Jay .it was a good apology but …he has hurt me so much .i told him I accept his apology .i elaborated that I can’t do this anymore .

I have more to write but I’m tired …