April 30th in The Wonderland Years: 2013

‘My ‘friend’ - by which I mean we’re more than friends but neither of us cares enough to define it. which is fine with me. ok, not ‘fine’ but.accepted.understandable - um, but anyways. Evan, left his guitar at my place, for various reasons.

Getting back to my point: I know next to nothing about guitars. I know what a key is, and pitch. And notes. I’d like to think of myself as musically inclined. But the way I see it. As long as someone likes music [or, hell. takes it a step further and just. absolutely. Loves it, as I do] - and they have a good sense of rhythm then..........they got a good thing going, in terms of learning a musical instrument. ‘by which I mean’, they have potential.. And on that note: according to my mom, I have ‘years of dance training’, which helps. Some.how. I’m not sure how to articulate that or maybe I already have.......... please fill me in if I haven’t and you’ve a better way to explain it. No, really. I don’t mind. I’m encouraging this. Always. [but more on this later].
But back to the guitar [sounds like it could be a line in one of my upcoming poems]: It’s not a wooden, ‘60’s hippie guitar it’s. the other kind [well that’s helpful isn’t it. Like I said, next to nothing........I know one ‘type’, pardon the phrasing - is a Gibson guitar. but that’s where my knowldege ends]. I’ve 2 videos of me screwing around on the guitar. they’re not online. They’re really boring, actually. By which I mean purely visually. I honestly don’t know a literal single song on the guitar- or piano..........drums. any instument - regardless, point stands. But even though I don’t. I like the way I sound. I love learning and would love to learn guitar. I’ve always liked guitars........it fits in with who I am: 1: I love learning and B: I love music, as mentioned on several accounts. But, as with recovery [from anything - you need to have patience. And within the learning-something-new/aspect. there are, the details. Patience, is absolutely one of them. Even though/if I don’t know an actual song people would recognize. I love screwing around on the guitar. It helps..........it helps me connect to Sage [the friend of mine who................um. ‘isn’t with us anymore’, as it were] - who, one of the last times we hung out. played his guitar. His is the first guitar I’ve touched. And, as well as Sage. I’m connected to all fuk, everyone/anyone who’s ever played guitar. Hendrix, the Beatles..........and nowadays. The point is, music’s connective. I’m getting more comfortable with just strumming it. not holding it, but strumming it. taking action, as it were. If I’m angry, I play something loud and fast...........if I’m sad, I’ll play something in a minor tone. sad, mellow. folks-y, in a sense. Idinno..........well, either way. Regardless, it helps. a lot. A whole helluva lot. Yes. Deff, Deff, Deff Leppardly. Um. The thing about Evan is that. [oh yeah. I apparently forgot I’m in love with him, what with so much else going on lately...........it’s so easy to forget…] - is that. he makes me feel like a bird of the ‘60’s, as it were. Sure I don’t love him as much as I love my ex, but I don’t want to make that the point. The point is. and the point’s there. He makes me feel........free. I’ve started writing again, poetry. A - at least 3 page - poem. Ya know? [or perhaps not]. He opens me up in a way my ex didn’t. But then, there are so.....so...........many aspects regarding the breakup, and my ex.and who he was and what he did and what he made me into. [but that’s ‘another ballpark’, which is my new recent phrase]. ‘