Frustrated with my body in Life as a Mom of 2 boys.....and a girl!!

I’m so frustrated with my body. Yesterday at around 5pm I noticed some brown blood on the liner I wear for discharge. Cue me freaking out! But then I googled and talked to some people and they said brown blood is just old blood that decided to leave your body at that moment. Could have been from a week ago or whatever. Ok fine. But then I read “or it could be what comes out before you miscarriage”....whaaat? So I’m freaking out again. It stopped after 5pm yesterday and I’ve had small little bits of it here and there today, very faint but still upsetting. I’m feeling seriously bummed. I can’t imagine being pregnant this long and then losing the baby. I’ve had so much exhaustion and sickness and just crazy symptoms all over the place and daily and it’s definitely hard work to get through each day feeling like this.

On the plus side, I am still feeling a lot of pregnancy symptoms and I finally found the baby’s heartbeat with my doppler at home today. I put Miles down for his nap and then lay in my bed and was determined to find it. I’ve tried several times so far and never been able to find it. I’m 12w3d today.

So I guess we’ll see what tomorrow brings.....feeling a bit bummed that I have to be so stressed over brown blood :( I really, really, REALLY want to keep this baby God. Please let me!